BETTER DO IT NOW
©1984 Scott Rodolitz, Jay Auerfeld, and Kevin Gerber
Hey cutie, bet it’s time to check if mommy went to sleep
Then maybe you can steal away with some big college creep
And drive around in his Datsun Z until the cows come home
Then do some toot, and `luudes to boot, and blow it till he moans
If mommy doesn’t know by now, there’s no way she’ll find out
Just what a little tramp you are each night when you go out
The clubs are really hopping if you get there after two
So do your dance and drop your pants and see who you can screw
`Cause it’s easy to live just like a little queen
Dressing up like everybody else who acts obscene
The crowds `round here won’t take you in unless you treat `em mean
So you better do it now before it all runs out
You better do it now before it all comes clean.
Since daddy left last December, things ain’t been the same
Mommy met with a guy named Ron and changed her old last name
Since everything’s a little weird, hell, might as well get stoned
So put on rouge, get crocked on booze, and hope you can get boned
`Cause it’s easy to live just like a little queen
Dressing up like everybody else who acts obscene
The crowds `round here won’t take you in unless you treat `em mean
So you better do it now before it all runs out
You better do it now before it all comes clean.
You better get your last licks in before you get too old
And find yourself some pathetic gimp all loaded down with gold
Then prepare for breakdown number one; it’s just around the bend
But Valium and Aspergum should help the pieces mend
`Cause it’s easy to live just like a little queen
Dressing up like everybody else who acts obscene
The crowds `round here won’t take you in unless you treat `em mean
So you better do it now before it all runs out
You better do it now before it all comes clean.
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NOTES & BACKSTORY:
This song was not written by me, alas. It was, however, penned by three other members of the band I was in, The Moist Sheep, which included friends I’d had since junior high school. In concert, I would sing backup vocals on the great chorus, and at one point I tried (and failed) to convince the authors to change “pathetic gimp” to “businessman,” but that was really my only creative contribution to the catchiest song to come out of our group. Like so many of our tunes, the song pokes fun at vacuous Long Island culture and the mindsets of Jewish American Princesses and their ilk. I still think it could have been a hit.
The Collected Writings of... David Lefkowitz 