INDEX TO ALL SECTIONS

INDEX TO ALL SECTIONS

(Click the links for David Lefkowitz’s oeuvre, which he hopes you’ll loeuvre).

FICTION – SHORT
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-G8

NON-FICTION – ESSAYS – HUMOROUS
(includes Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflections)
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-16f

NON-FICTION – ARTICLES & FEATURE STORIES / SERIOUS ESSAYS
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-ai

NON-FICTION – INTERVIEWS & PROFILES
(note: these works are also included in the larger “Non-Fiction – Feature Stories” index)
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-ak

PLAYS (Theater – Full-Length)
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-FI

PLAYS (Theater – One-Act)
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-hQ

POETRY
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-HI

REVIEWS – THEATER, FILM, MUSIC, VIDEO
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-an

MEDIA PLAYS (Film/TV/Radio)
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-G0

SONGS
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-44

*

THIS INDEX: https://wp.me/pzvIo-1we

NEWS!

Watch my new short comedy, THREE PERCENT, which was performed virtually Saturday, Nov. 20, 2021 in the PlayGround Experiment’s Faces of America Festival. Here’s the youtube link: Three Percent

@thepge. https://www.facebook.com/ThePlayGroundExperiment/

NEWS!

DEAR READERS:

David Lefkowitz’s one-act comedy, RESTORATION PLAYHOUSE, received a virtual staged reading as part of Red Bull Theater Company’s annual Short New Play Festival. Here’s a video of the play, including a brief pre-play interview: https://youtu.be/66Lr1_UmXEk

NON-FICTION – ESSAY – HUMOROUS: Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #184 (4/27/2024): A PASSOVER PRAYER

RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #184 (4/27/2024): A Passover Prayer

airs April 27, 2024 on Dave’s Gone By. Youtube video:  

Shalom Dammit! This is Rabbi Sol Solomon with a Rabbinical Reflection for these last few days of Passover 2024. 

A zissen Pesach my friends, and I hope you are having a fun holiday, with maximal contemplation and minimal constipation. Actually, this year is less likely to afflictus with intestinal binding than gastric reflux: we want to throw up at everything around us. 

That’s why I’ve written this little prayer that you can append to your Haggadahs this Passover. It’s an appeal to God to get off his lazy tuchas and help us, just as he did in Egypt. He doesn’t have to show himself as a burning bush; he could set Ilhan Omar’s public hair on fire: same thing.

Anyway, here is a Prayer for late Pesach:

Blessed art thou, Oh Lord, our God. King of the Universe. (Or Queen, He can be gender-ridiculous). Blessed be He who sanctifies us with a holiday that deprives us of bread yet consoles us with Joyva Ring Jells; where we are scourged by horse radish, soothed by charoses, and confused by putting them together; and where we learn morality by letting a child hide the Afikoman and then rewarding him for thievery and blackmail.

Dear God, in these times of woe, when the land of Israel rages and Jew-haters have slithered from their cages, we implore thee to restore righteousness in the world. To vanquish our foes, as you did the Amalekites and the Canaanites, and sometimes the Monday nites. Oh Lord, protect the tiny nation of Eretz Yisroel and smite our enemies. For example:

May Hamas fighters see their tunnels turn to caskets, their caskets turned to dust, and their dust hoovered up by your ugliest cleaning lady.

May you lift the Palestinians up, up, up out of Israel and deposit them in a galaxy far, far away. Or at least Kuwait.

May Iraq get so fed up with Iran for being only one letter different, that the two blow each other to bits, which will be especially amusing to Jews named “Ira.” 

May the United Nations vote to sanction itself out of existence and have to relinquish its New York headquarters to a Judaica superstore.

May every Western woman who supports the Arab world actually have to live, as a woman, in the Arab world. 

May the marching students of Columbia and New York Universities be boiled in acid and then, ironically, fail their chemistry exams.

May the idiots posting anti-Zionist misinformation on TikTok be forced to use Dos dial-up just to get WiFi. 

May the members of “Queers for Palestine” be bent over and their assholes stuffed with razor wire. And AIDS.  

May every troglodyte who scrawls “Death to Israel” in graffiti on a public edifice be given a 1972 station wagon and forced to circle the building eternally looking for parking. 

May every Arab who danced a jig on October 7th have their legs hacked off and fed to starving woodchucks, and may those marmots come back while the cripples are sleeping and vomit in their mouths.

May every Jew who betrays Israel in favor of “Palestine” be forced to eat matzoh made of ground glass and soaked in rat poison. In thy mercy. 

And may whoever becomes President of the United States live four more years — and that’s a stretch right there — to see Israel triumph, her children multiply, her enemies divide and die, and her friends figure out a way to make even a bacon cheeseburger Kosher for Passover. 

V’yimeru, Amen.

This has been a Rabbinical Reflection from Rabbi Sol Solomon, Temple Sons of Bitches in Great Neck, New York.

(c)2024 TotalTheater. All rights reserved.

—> https://davelefkowitzwriting.wordpress.com/?p=10683

NON-FICTION – ESSAY – HUMOROUS: Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #183 (4/20/2024): PASSOVER 2024

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #183 (4/20/24): PASSOVER 2024

This Rabbinical Reflection first aired April 20, 2024 on the Dave’s Gone By video podcast.

Shalom Dammit! This is Rabbi Sol Solomon with a Rabbinical Reflection for the 2024 Passover holiday.

Yes, my friends, it’s matzoh time again! Time to change the silverware, cover your tables, sell your leavened food and then buy it back when it’s stale — time to welcome a holiday that throws your life into chaos, just for a big meal that’s supposed to be about order. That’s the seder. Seder means order, structure, in Hebrew. So at the seder, we do one activity after another after another, in order, for two hours before we finally get to eat. Then we dine on wonderful things like horse radish and boiled eggs and flat bread that uses cardboard as its flavor profile. Mmm mmm, constipated!

But we do this, of course, to commemorate a miracle. Our Jewish ancestors, who spent decades as slaves to the Pharaohs, high-tailed it out of Egypt, thanks to Moses, his brother Aaron, and a God that actually talked to people back then. Or at least to Moses. They had that kind of relationship.

And so, 3500 years ago, the Jews left Eretz Mitzrayim, crossed the Red Sea — which slowly parted for them like the legs of an arthritic hooker—and wandered the desert for 40 years till all of them were dead. But their children made it to Israel. And that’s where the Jews have stayed until this very day. And, current events notwithstanding, they ain’t goin’ anywhere.

For decades now, I’ve ranted and raved and driven home one idea that even a pinhead like Susan Sarandon should understand: Israel is for Jews. Arabs can live anywhere else. Why don’t they? If all these Muslim countries refuse to make a home for their Palestinian brothers, well, that’s just too bad. There’s no reason the Palis can’t have a couple dozen square miles of Saudi Arabia, Sudan, Algeria, Mali, Pakistan,Turkmenistan, or Dearborn, Michigan. Palestinians want a country so bad? Give them one…far away. Suck them out of Gaza and the West Bank so Israelis can be free and safe…surrounded by a dozen countries that despise them.

Yet for all the horrible news and the burgeoning anti-Semitism, we can muster a smile or two this Pesach holiday. On Thursday, the president of Columbia University—an Arab no less—looked at the swarm of hippie hooligans disobeying orders to vacate the college’s lawns and said, finally, “If you don’t leave, I’m calling the cops.” They stayed, in came the riot squad, and more than a hundred imbeciles were arrested and suspended—not for being anti-Israel (that’s a given for these smelly hermaphrodites) but for trespassing on private property and assuming their bleeding-heart wokeness would be an impermeable escutcheon. Understand that they were non-violent, and so were the cops. Everybody got what they came for: President Shafik got her lawn back (for a day), the cops made their quota without a single speeding ticket, and the brats got on TV crying and laughing and showing every employer in America who not to hire at the next job fair.

On top of this heartening development of cracking down on crackpots—there’s more amazing news. A week ago, Iran sent hundreds of missiles streaming into Israel. I think one of them hit. All the rest were intercepted and bombed out of the sky by the vaunted “iron dome.” Where that dome was on October 7th is another story, but at least this time, it worked like gangbusters. Or bomb-busters. And after that, Israel hit back with a bunch of mini-drones that were mini enough to do minimal damage but scary enough to make the Tehran tyrants think twice about escalation.

So in these anxious and ugly times, when Jews face hatred from stupid goyim, and Israel faces hatred from stupid Jews, we can be thankful for some godly interventions that are at least trying to restore order. Seder.

And for those who still equate Zionism with oppressive colonialism as opposed to…”my house, my rules,” here’s some poetic justice:

“From the river to the sea, Hamas had better flee.

`Cuz way back in `48, the world made Israel a Jewish state.

The Arabs are welcome to work and play, but if you hurt us, we will slay.

We’ll bomb the tunnels Hamas built and turn their houses into silt.

If you prick us, we will bleed, but then we’ll get you, guaranteed.

If you’re a young and left-wing loony spewing your shit at the Ivies and SUNY

Not realizing Al Qaeda, Al Aqsa, Hamas

Are all the same evil, with all the same boss?

Please know that the monsters who caused 9/11

are back as the same butchers of October 7.

Yet millions of Arabs select them as leaders

and pledge their allegiance to these bottom feeders

who’ve vowed to push Israel straight off the map

Which is why we must blot them, like wiping up crap.

If they think they’ll win and cause Israel to vanish

“Joder a sus madres.” Look it up — it’s Spanish.

Israel will fight to the very last Jew — and make no mistake, they’re fighting for you.

`Cause if Muslims win, new maps they will draw that put the whole world under Sharia law.

So Israel will struggle, as lies leave her friendless

And Israel will fight, though the fighting is endless.

And Israel will win because Israel must and grind our foes into cockroach dust.

From Haifa to Tiberius, IDF is dead serious

From Kiryat Shmona all the way to Eilat, the Arabs can lick Golda Meir’s hairy grey twat.

From the sea to the river, we’ll make Hamas quiver.

And for year after year, Israel stays here.

This has been a Rabbinical Reflection from Rabbi Sol Solomon, Temple Sons of Bitches in Great Neck, New York. Happy Pesach seder to you — from border to border, we will restore order.

(c)2024 TotalTheater. All rights reserved.

—> https://davesgoneby.net/?p=69511
—> https://youtu.be/Ntuolv3enH0
—> https://shalomdammit.wordpress.com/2024/04/20/rabbi-sol-solomons-rabbinical-reflection-183-4-20-2024-passover-2024/
—> https://davelefkowitzwriting.wordpress.com/2024/04/20/non-fiction-essay-humorous-rabbi-sol-solomons-rabbinical-reflection-183-4-20-2024-passover-2024/

INDEX: Non-Fiction – Essays – Humorous

INDEX TO ESSAYS – NON-FICTION – HUMOROUS Use this Index to find David Lefkowitz’s humorous essays, including his series of Rabbinical Reflections for Rabbi Sol Solomon.

Various Comic Essays

Dave’s Gone Canceling #2: Quick Draw McGraw
(Should our cancel-crazed culture ostracize cartoon legend Quick Draw McGraw?) <br https://wp.me/pzvIo-274

Dave’s Gone Canceling #1: Joni Mitchell
(Should our cancel-crazed culture ostracize legendary musician Joni Mitchell?)
June 27, 2020 —> https://wp.me/pzvIo-26D

Musicals Rappin’ at Your Door?
(With Hamilton about to open on Broadway, what if other historical events received the rap-musical treatment?)
First published July 31, 2015 in Stagebuddy.com, NY.
July 31, 2015 —> https://wp.me/pzvIo-2Bl

Some Theatrical Entries for Tell an Old Joke Day
July 14, 2015 —> https://wp.me/pzvIo-2A8

Song o’ SpongeBob
(With SpongeBob SquarePants being readied for Broadway, can some Adult Swim titles be far behind?)
First published Feb. 26, 2015 in Stagebuddy.com, NY.
Feb. 26, 2015 —> https://wp.me/pzvIo-2Br

Great Quotations and Their Origins
Jan. 16, 1986 —> https://wp.me/pzvIo-FM

*

RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTIONS

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #183 (4/20/2024): Passover 2024
Subject: Rabbi Sol shares reflections and a poem for this particularly potent Passover holiday
—> https://tinyurl.com/5n6et5ev

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #182 (3/23/2024): Jokes for Purim 2024
Subject: Rabbi Sol shares jokes for the Purim holiday
—> https://tinyurl.com/ne26enfs

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #181 (1/13/2024): New Jokes
Subject: Rabbi Sol offers topical jokes for the times
—> http://tinyurl.com/mt5sbc33

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #180 (12/31/2023): 2023 Farewell
Subject: Rabbi Sol bids a fond-ish farewell to 2023
—> http://tinyurl.com/yactwjkn

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #179 (4/1/2023): Passover 2023
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on celebrating Passover in modern times
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-2v1

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #178 (12/31/2022): 2022 Farewell
Subject: Rabbi Sol bids a fond farewell to 2022
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-2rD

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #177 (10/6/2022): Dave’s Gone By 20th Anniversary
Subject: Rabbi Sol congratulates Dave Lefkowitz on the 20th anniversary of his radio show and podcast, Dave’s Gone By
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-2ry

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #176 (6/11/2022): 2022 Tony Awards
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on Broadway’s 2022 Tony Awards
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-2pj

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #175 (3/17/2022): James Joyce
Subject: Rabbi Sol celebrates St. Patrick’s Day with the poetry of James Joyce
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-2hB

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #174 (2/14/2022): Poems for Valentine’s Day
Subject: Rabbi Sol performs as part of Gingold Theatrical Group’s Valentine Slam Open Mic Night
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-2go

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #173 (12/25/2021): 2021 Farewell
Subject: Rabbi Sol bids a bitter farewell to 2021
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-297

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #172 (10/22/2021): Brown Sugar
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on the Rolling Stones retiring their classic, “Brown Sugar.”
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-20y

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #171 (9/14/2021): How to Fast on Yom Kippur
Subject: Rabbi Sol offers advice about fasting on Yom Kippur
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-1X7

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #170 (7/24/2021): Ben & Jerry’s
Subject: Rabbi Sol goes sour on Ben & Jerry’s ice cream
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-1RW

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #169 (5/1/2021): Meron
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on the Lag B’Omer tragedy at Meron
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-1E6

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #168 (4/10/2021): Normalcy
Subject: Rabbi Sol wonders when post-pandemic normalcy will return
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-1ux/

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #167 (2/25/2021): Purim Jokes 2021
Subject: Rabbi Sol shares jokes for the Purim holiday
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-1bX

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #166 (1/28/2021): Let Them Hear Me
Subject: Rabbi Sol contributes to the New York Theater Workshop and Poetic Theater
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-17m

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #165 (1/17/2021): Free Speech
Subject: Rabbi Sol looks at censorship in the age of insurrection
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-161

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #164 (12/31/2020): 2020 Farewell
Subject: Rabbi Sol bids a bitter farewell to 2020
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-167

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #163 (6/7/2020): Broadway 2020
Subject: Broadway’s 2020 Tony Awards
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-16b

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection $162 (5/2/2020): Social Distancing
Subject: Rabbi Sol has choice words for those who disregard isolation orders during a pandemic
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-16j

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #161 (4/25/2020): Rabbi Sol Solomon Reads Shakespeare’s Sonnet #30 Subject: Rabbi Sol contributes to Irondale Ensemble’s Sonnet Marathon —> https://wp.me/pzvIo-16n

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #160 (4/10/2020): Shaking Hands Subject: Rabbi Sol discusses shaking hands in the age of COVID-19 —> https://wp.me/pzvIo-16A

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #159 (6/1/2019): 2019 Tony Awards Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on Broadway’s 2019 Tony Awards —> https://wp.me/pzvIo-16G

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #158 (1/12/2019): Farewell 2018 Subject: Rabbi Sol bids farewell to 2018 —> https://wp.me/pzvIo-1a0

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #157 (12/15/2018): Cold Outside Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on musical censorship —> https://wp.me/pzvIo-1a5

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #156 (8/11/2018): Joke Time Subject: Rabbi Sol tells and analyzes some Jewish jokes —> https://wp.me/pzvIo-1a9

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #155 (6/10/2018): 2018 Tony Awards Subject: Broadway’s 2018 Tony Awards —> https://wp.me/pzvIo-1ae

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #154 (3/24/2018): DimonaLand Subject: Rabbi Sol mulls the idea of an Israeli theme park —> https://wp.me/pzvIo-1ai

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #153 (1/14/2018): Jokes for the New Year Subject: Rabbi Sol tells and analyzes some Jewish jokes —> https://wp.me/pzvIo-1am

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #152 (1/1/2018): Farewell 2017 Subject: Rabbi Sol Solomon offers a poetic recap of a tumultuous year —> https://wp.me/pzvIo-1aq

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #151 (12/24/17): Jerusalem Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on moving the US embassy in Israel to Jerusalem —> https://wp.me/pzvIo-1au

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #150 (8/20/17): On Both Sides Subject: Rabbi Sol Solomon reflects on Donald Trump’s reaction to the Charlottesville marches —> https://wp.me/pzvIo-1eD

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #149 (8/13/17): Trumps & Trannies Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on the decision to ban transsexuals from the military —> https://wp.me/pzvIo-1eI

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #148 (8/6/2017): Roger Waters Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on Roger Waters’s anti-Israel sentiments —> https://wp.me/pzvIo-1eM

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #147 (7/9/2017): Roger Waters Subject: Rabbi Sol Solomon reflects on separating the sexes at Jerusalem’s Wailing Wall —> https://wp.me/pzvIo-1eR

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #146 (6/11/2017): 2017 Tony Nominations Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on Broadway’s 2017 Tony Awards —> https://wp.me/pzvIo-1eV

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #145 (3/11/2017): Purim Jokes Anew Subject: Rabbi Sol tells and analyzes some Jewish jokes —> https://wp.me/pzvIo-1eZ

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #144 (3/5/2017): Playboy Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on the removal of nudity from Playboy magazine —> https://wp.me/pzvIo-1f3

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #143 (1/8/2017): Obama and the U.N. Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on President Obama snubbing Israel at the U.N. —> https://wp.me/pzvIo-1f9

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #142 (12/25/2016): 2016 Farewell Subject: Rabbi Sol Solomon bids a fond farewell to 2016 —> https://wp.me/pzvIo-1fd

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #141 (11/6/2016): Electile Dysfunction Subject: Rabbi Sol Solomon looks at Trump vs. Clinton in the 2016 election —> https://wp.me/pzvIo-1fn

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #140 (6/12/2016): Tony Awards 2016 Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on Broadway’s 2016 Tony Awards —> https://wp.me/pzvIo-1fr

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #139 (5/8/16): Donald Trump Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on Donald Trump becoming the Republican frontrunner for President —> https://wp.me/pzvIo-1fw

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #138 (4/24/2016): Shmura Matzohs Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on the glory of simple matzohs —> https://wp.me/pzvIo-1fC

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #137 (3/6/2016): Astronaut Scott Kelly Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on brave American astronaut, Scott Kelly —> https://wp.me/pzvIo-1fH

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #136 (2/28/16): Hitler’s Junk Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on Hitler’s little problem —> https://wp.me/pzvIo-1fL

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #135 (1/17/16): David Bowie Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on the passing of icon musician David Bowie —> https://wp.me/pzvIo-1fS

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #134 (12/31/2015): Farewell 2015 Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on the year gone by —> https://wp.me/pzvIo-1vw

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #133 (12/20/2015): Word of the Year Subject: Rabbi Sol has an issue with Webster’s dictionary —> https://wp.me/pzvIo-1vD

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #132 (12/12/2015): Hanukkah Haiku
Subject: Rabbi Sol offers some holiday poems
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-1Dp

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #131 (8/22/2015): Jimmy Carter
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on the mixed legacy of former president Jimmy Carter
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-1G3

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #130 (8/2/2015): Cecil the Lion
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on The killing of Cecil the endangered African lion by a rich American hunter
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-1JC

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #129 (7/12/2015): With a Little Help
Subject: Rabbi Sol deconstructs The Beatles’s “With a Little Help from My Friends”
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-1G9

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #128 (6/28/2015): Scalia
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on conservative Supreme Court justice Antonin Scalia
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-1Ur

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #127 (6/21/2015): Jenna Jameson
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on Jenna Jameson’s decision to convert to Judaism
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-1UA

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #126 (6/7/2015): The 2015 Tony Awards
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on Broadway’s 2015 Tony Awards
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-1UI

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #125 (5/23/2015): Harry Shearer
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on the potential absence of Harry Shearer from The Simpsons
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-1Vx

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #124 (5/17/2015): What’s in a (Baby) Name?
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on the year’s top ten baby names for boys and girls
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-1VC

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #123 (5/3/2015): Popeyes
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on one fast-food franchise’s reaction to a robbery
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-1VU

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #122 (4/15/2015): Campaign 2016
Subject: Rabbi Sol Reflects on pretenders to the political throne
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-1YP

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #121 (4/5/2015): Passover
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on the Passover holiday.
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-1YY

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #120 (3/28/2015): Bibi’s Back
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on Benjamin Netanyahu’s surprise reelection in Israel
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-20j

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #119 (3/5/2015): Dave’s 500th
Subject: Rabbi Sol congratulates Dave Lefkowitz on the 500th episode of his radio show and podcast, Dave’s Gone By
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-20p

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #118 (3/1/2015): Purim Jokes
Subject: Rabbi Sol offers some new jokes and interpretations
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-20F

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #117 (2/22/2015): Oscars 2015
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on the year’s Academy Award nominees
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-20L

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #116 (2/8/2015): UC Dervish
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on BDS fever infecting a college campus
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-210

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #115 (2/1/2015): Letters, I Get Letters
Subject: Rabbi Sol responds to letters from parishioners and fans
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-21s

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #114 (1/11/2015): Political Cartoons
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on the terrorist murders of cartoonists at Charlie Hebdo
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-21y

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #113 (12/21/2014): Little Yomo and the Corned Beef Sandwich
Subject: Rabbi Sol shares a story for Chanukah
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-21E

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #112 (12/7/2014): Cos
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on the downfall of comedian Bill Cosby
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-22a

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #111 (11/23/2014): Murder in Jerusalem
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on a particularly savage terrorist attack.
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-22n

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #110 (11/16/2014): Christmas in November
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on Christmas overtaking the American calendar
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-22u

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #109 (10/19/2014): Ebola
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on the spreading ebola virus
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-22F

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #108 (9/28/2014): Opiyum
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on the Chinese chef who made his noodles a little too tempting
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-22J

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #107 (9/21/2014): Gwyneth
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on Gwyneth Paltrow’s religious affiliation
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-22O

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #106 (9/7/2014): Uzi Does It
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on why little girls and big guns don’t mix
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-22U

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #105 (8/31/2014): Eventful August
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on a busy and difficult month
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-23a

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #104 (8/3/2014): Great Guns in Gaza
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on Israel showing muscle in Gaza
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-23z

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #103 (7/6/2014): Brothers’ Keepers
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on the kidnapping and murder of three Israeli teenagers by Hamas
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-23I

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #102 (6/8/2014): The 2014 Tony Awards
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on Broadway’s 2013-14 theater season and Tony Awards
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-23O

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #101 (5/25/2014): Gabriel Diaz
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on Gabriel Diaz, New York City’s Nazi cabdriver
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-23U

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #100 (5/18/2014): Boko Haram
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on Boko Haram kidnapping teenage girls in Nigeria
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-26a

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #099 (4/20/2014): Utz vs. Butler
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on the ramifications of an office prank
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-26e

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #098 (3/30/2014): Fred Phelps
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on the homophobia of the Westboro Baptist Church
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-26i

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #097 (3/23/2014): Hearing Voices
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on Ebony Wilkerson, who tried to drive her family into the ocean
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-26n

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #096 (3/16/2014): Purim Jokes 2014
Subject: Rabbi Sol shares jokes for the holiday
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-26r

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #095 (3/9/2014): Upskirt
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on expectations of public privacy for our privates
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-278

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #094 (3/2/2014): Kiev
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on unrest in the Ukraine
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-27m

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #093 (2/22/2014): RadioShack
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on the failing fortunes of RadioShack
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-27p

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #092 (2/16/2014): Sochi
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on the Winter Olympics in Russia
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-289

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #091 (2/9/2014): SodaStream and ScarJo
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on Scarlett Johansson’s defense of SodaStream
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-28f

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #090 (2/1/2014): Justin Bieber
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on pop star Justin Bieber’s youthful indiscretions
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-28l

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #089 (1/26/2014): Hiroo Onoda
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on the passing of perennial Japanese soldier, Hiroo Onoda
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-28p

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #088 (1/19/2014): Ariel Sharon
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on the passing of Israeli statesman Ariel Sharon
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-28u

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #087 (1/12/2014): Duck Amuck
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on the dummies of “Duck Dynasty.”
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-28X

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #086 (12/29/2013): New Year 2014
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on the year gone by
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-292

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #085 (12/22/2013): Passings in 2013
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on notables lost in the year gone by
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-29w

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #084 (12/8/2013): Ronnie Smith in Benghazi
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on a murdered misionary
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-29A

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #083 (12/1/2013): Thanksgiving Meets Chanukah
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on a Jewish holiday intersecting with a secular one
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-29G

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #082 (11/19/2013): Crystal Spa
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on a German spa’s bad advertising campaign
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-29L

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #081 (11/10/2013): Chocolate-Covered Chips
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on a new Lay’s food product
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-29P

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #080 (11/3/2013): Redskins
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on politically incorrect nomenclature
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-29T

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #079 (10/26/2013): Motorcycle Mayhem
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on a biker melee in New York
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-29X

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #078 (10/6/2013): Shutdown
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on political gridlock
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-2a2

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #077 (9/29/2013): Syria
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on Syria’s use of chemical weapons
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-2a6

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #076 (9/8/2013): Fast Food on Strike
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on minimum-wage fast-food workers going on strike
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-2aa

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #075 (9/1/2013): Egypt Again
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on political chaos in Egypt
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-2ai

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #074 (8/18/2013): Baby Messiah
Subject: Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on parents’ rights to name their children
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-2am

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #073 (7/29/2013): Abortion in Texas
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on new abortion laws in Texas
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-2aq

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #072 (6/30/2013): Shalom Dammit! in Greeley
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on the performance of his stage show in Colorado
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-2au

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #071 (6/23/2013): Michael Karkoc
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on the capture of a former Nazi living in Minnesota
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-29k

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #070 (6/16/2013): Michael Douglas
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on Michael Douglas’s claim that he contracted cancer from oral sex
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-2aB

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #069 (6/9/2013): Tonys 2013
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on Broadway’s 2013 Tony Award nominations
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-2aF

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #068 (5/26/2013): Angelina Jolie
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on Angelina Jolie’s decision to have a double mastectomy
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-2aJ

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #067 (5/19/2013): Tax Evasion
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on selective scrutiny by the Internal Revenue Service
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-2aN

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #066 (5/12/2013): Jodi on HLN
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on cable news’s coverage of the Jodi Arias trial
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-2aR

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #065 (5/5/2013): Joking Around
Subject: Rabbi Sol shares some jokes and their interpretations
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-2aW

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #064 (4/21/2013): The Brothers Tsarnaev and the “M” Word
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on the Boston Marathon terrorists
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-2b0

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #063 (4/14/2013): Jew in a Box
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on a controversial exhibit in a Berlin museum
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-2b6

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #062 (4/7/2013): Roger Ebert
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on the passing of film critic Roger Ebert
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-2ba

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #061 (3/17/2013): Sugar Sugar
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on Mayor Michael Bloomberg’s ban on supersized soft drinks in New York City
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-2be

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #60 (3/10/2013): Whose Line Returns
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on the return of TV’s improv show, “Whose Line is it Anyway?”
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-2bM

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #59 (3/3/2013): Disappearing Delis
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on the closing of Kosher delicatessens across the country
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-2bQ

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #58 (2/24/2013): More Purim Jokes
Subject: Rabbi Sol shares jokes for the holiday
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-2bU

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #57 (2/17/2013): Pope Benedict Retires
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on the legacy of Pope Benedict XVI
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-2bY

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #56 (2/10/2013): Valentine’s Day
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on the history and meaning of Valentine’s Day
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-2c2

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #55 (2/3/2013): Oldies but Goodies
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on aging rock stars still rocking
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-2c6

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #54 (1/27/2013): The Battle of Algiers
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on terorism in Algeria
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-2ca

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #53 (1/20/2013): Lance Armstrong
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on doping and bullying allegations against bicyclist Lance Armstrong
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-2cl

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #52 (1/13/2013): Al Gorezeera
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on Al Gore selling Current TV to Al Jazeera
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-2cr

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #51 (12/30/2012): 2012 Farewell
Subject: Rabbi Sol bids a rueful farewell to 2012
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-2cv

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #50 (12/23/2012): Gun Control
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on the N.R.A. versus common sense
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-2cz

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #49 (12/16/2012): Molest We Forget
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on the arrest of Reb Nechemya Weberman — child rapist
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-2cD

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #48 (12/9/2012): Chanukah
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on the meaning of Chanukah
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-2da

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #47 (11/25/2012): Gaza Gaza Hey
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on new bloodshed between Israel and the Arabs
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-2dh

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #46 (10/7/2012): Dave’s Gone By Anniversary
Subject: Rabbi Sol pays tribute to Dave Lefkowitz’s long-running radio show, Dave’s Gone By
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-2dl

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #45 (9/30/2012): Subway Savagery
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on a pro-Israel subway advertisement causing controversy in New York
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-2dp

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #44 (9/22/2012): Atonement
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on the meaning of Yom Kippur
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-2dt

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #43 (9/9/2012): New Reviews
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on the reviews he received for his off-off-Broadway show, Shalom Dammit!
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-2dy

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #42 (6/10/2012): 2012 Tony Awards
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on Broadway’s 2012 Tony Awards
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-2dE

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #41 (5/13/2012): Arresting the Molesting
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on the secrecy over child molestation in the Orthodox community
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-2e8

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #40 (4/8/2012): Mezuzah Meshuggah
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on a co-op board’s restrictive policies
—>> https://wp.me/pzvIo-2ec

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #39 (3/25/2012): Rave Reviews!
Subject: Rabbi Sol kvells over a rave review for his stage show, Shalom Dammit!
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-2eh

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #38 (2/19/2012): Shalom Dammit! in NYC
Subject: Rabbi Sol plugs his upcoming theatrical musical, Shalom Dammit!
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-2eN

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #37 (2/5/2012): More Jokes
Subject: Rabbi Sol shares some Jewish jokes and their interpretations
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-2eR

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #36 (1/28/2012): Jewish GPS
Subject: Rabbi Sol promotes a Hebraic SatNav
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-2fY

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #35 (1/22/2012): Gay Tel Aviv
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on Israel’s pro-gay policies
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-16f

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #34 (1/15/2012): Mitt Romney
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on Mitt Romney becoming the Republican presidential front-runner
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-2g6

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #33 (12/18/2011): Newt Gingrich
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on politician Newt Gingrich’s staunch defense of Israel
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-2gc

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #32 (12/11/2011): Post Office
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on rising postal rates
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-2gg

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #31 (12/4/2011): Coca Cola
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on a marketing stumble by Coca Cola
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-2gk

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #30 (11/27/2011): Questions
Subject: Rabbi Sol answers fan questions following his performance of Shalom Dammit! in Colorado
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-2mb

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #29 (11/13/2011): Shalom Dammit! Live
Subject: Rabbi Sol promotes his upcoming live show in Northern Colorado, Shalom Dammit!
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-2oq

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #28 (11/6/2011): Kardashian Divorce
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on the split between Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-2ox

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #27 (10/30/2011): Blackout
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on a snowstorm’s effect on Colorado
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-2oD

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #26 (10/22/2011): Occupied
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on the Occupy Wall Street movement
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-2oI

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #25 (10/2/2011): Days of Awe
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on the High Holy Days
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-2oO

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #24 (9/24/2011): Statehood?
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on the idea of Palestinian statehood
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-2oU

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #23 (9/17/2011): Ten Years
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on the 10th anniversary of Sept. 11
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-2oZ

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #22 (8/28/2011): Reb Levin
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on homophobic Rabbi Yehuda Levin
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-2pB

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #21 (8/20/2011): Downturn
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on a Wall Street slump
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-2pF

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #20 (7/3/2011): July 4th
Subject: Rabbi Sol celebrates America even during tough times
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-2pJ

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #19 (6/25/2011): Ryan Dunn
Subject: Rabbi Sol Reflects on the passing of TV Jackass, Ryan Dunn
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-2pS

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #18 (6/18/2011): Father’s Day
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on fatherhood
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-2pX

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #17 (6/12/2011): 2011 Tony Awards
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on Broadway’s Tony Award nominations
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-2q1

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #16 (5/14/2011): Israel’s Birthday
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on Israel’s 63rd birthday
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-2q6

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #15 (5/7/2011): Dead! Dead! Dead!
Subject: Rabbi Sol celebrates the killing of Osama bin Laden
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-16f

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #14 (5/1/2011): Royal Wedding
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on the nuptials of Prince Harry and Princess Kate
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-2r1

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #13 (4/24/2011): Easter
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on the Christian holiday, Easter
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-2r6

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #12 (4/10/2011): Killer Whale
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on Sea World’s Tilikum earning the title “killer whale” —> https://wp.me/pzvIo-2rb

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #11 (4/3/2011): Circumcisions
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on the tradition of brises
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-2rg

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #10 (3/27/2011): Tsunami Tweet
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on Gilbert Gottfried, political correctness, and the Aflac duck
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-2rN

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #9 (3/19/2011): Purim Jokes
Subject: Rabbi Sol shares jokes for the Purim holiday
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-2rT

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #8 (3/11/2011): Gas Prices
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on the latest spike in gas prices
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-2s0

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #7 (3/6/2011): The Pope
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on Pope Benedict’s proof that the Jews didn’t kill you-know-who
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-2s7

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #6 (2/26/2011): Charlie Sheen
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on the latest rantings of actor Charlie Sheen
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-2sg

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #5 (2/20/2011): Presidents Day
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on the inconstancy of American holidays
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-2sl

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #4 (2/12/2011): Egypt
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on political turmoil in Egypt
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-2su

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #3 (1/29/2011): Taco Bell
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on mystery meat
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-2sy

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #2 (1/23/2011): Regis Philbin
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on Regis Philbin leaving his morning show
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-2sC

Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #1 (1/16/2011): Martin Luther King
Subject: Rabbi Sol reflects on MLK’s legacy
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-2sG

*

THIS PAGE: https://wp.me/pzvIo-16f

FICTION – JOKES: My Sick Mind

FICTION – JOKES: My Sick Mind

(c)2024 David Lefkowitz

O.J. SIMPSON

Football great, media personality, criminal, and murderer O.J. Simpson died of prostate cancer on April 10, 2024. Here are some jokes to mark the pass rusher’s passing. 

This “My Sick Mind” segment first aired April 13, 2024 on Dave’s Gone By. Video: https://davesgoneby.net/daves-gone-by-skit-4-13-2024-my-sick-mind-o-j-simpson-lefkowitz/

What’s the best thing about worms’ and maggots’ breakfast this week?
They’re having O.J.

When OJ was having money troubles, he tried his hand at stand-up comedy.
He killed.

To O.J. Simpson, what’s the difference between first down and second down?
Nicole was first down; Ron Goldman was the second down.

Why are college kids so disappointed that O.J. Simpson was killed by cancer?
Because they can’t blame Israel for it.

Why will Kim Kardashian never live up to the standard set by her father?
Kim Kardashian has a big ass and fucked a guy named Ray-J.
Robert Kardashian was a big ass and fucked the whole legal system.

How do we know a dying O.J. still missed doing car-rental commercials?
He kept moaning, “Hertz! Hertz!”

Did you know that O.J.’s father was an African drag queen?
“Awisha Yuzdarubba”

How did O.J. Simpson mature from child to grownup?
As a boy, he did ticket scalping. As a man, he said, “Who needs tickets?”

They found O.J. Simpson’s diaries. Turns out he never used hyphens.
Just a lot of slashes.

What made Nicole Brown Simpson the ideal Jewish wife?
She stopped moving, but O.J. kept penetrating her… and he got off!

*************************************

NOTES & BACKSTORY:
4/2024: Created as a segment for my Dave’s Gone By podcast, “My Sick Mind” allows me to write tasteless jokes about deaths, tragedies, and catastrophes. In other words, my usual. 

THEATER PLAY: Five, Seven, and Five (2024)

theater-play-five-seven-and-five-2024Download

FIVE, SEVEN, AND FIVE

a one-act comedy by

David Lefkowitz

(c)2024 David Lefkowitz. All Rights Reserved

FIVE, SEVEN, AND FIVE

CHARACTERS:

THE LIBRARIAN

she is middle-aged

businesslike but not quite cold

with a job to do

MR. WAKABAYASHI

graduate student

harried, hurried, desperate

for his M.F.A.

MR. HARRISON

a suburban dude

the kind you’d find at Walmart

or a football game

SETTING: 

Late fall afternoon

A suburban library

The front checkout desk

A man waits on line. 

The Librarian 

does not look up from her work.

The man waits . . . and waits.

VOICE ON THE P.A.:

Attention patrons: 

The library is closing in 15 minutes. 

Please check out your books. 

The library is closing in 15 minutes. 

The Librarian 

finally stops her typing.

The man approaches. 

THE LIBRARIAN 

How may I help you?

MR. WAKABAYASHI

Hi! I’d like to renew this. 

He hands her a book. 

She flips to the end paper 

and looks carefully. 

MR. WAKABAYASHI

It’s not overdue. 

THE LIBRARIAN

This is not our book.

MR. WAKABAYASHI

It was a special request: 

interlibrary.

It’s due on Monday. 

THE LIBRARIAN

Right, but we can’t renew it. 

Only that branch can.

MR. WAKABAYASHI

But I got it here. 

I filled out the request form. 

Took weeks to get it. 

THE LIBRARIAN

I understand, sir. 

But we are not authorized 

to renew their books.

MR. WAKABAYASHI

Well, can you call them? 

I need this for my thesis. 

They’re the only ones —

THE LIBRARIAN

Let me see if they — 

MR. WAKABAYASHI

Please, I’d appreciate it. 

The Librarian, 

skimming through the patron’s 

book, dials the phone and waits.

THE LIBRARIAN

Seems interesting. 

MR. WAKABAYASHI

It’s, like, unbelievably crucial to my work.

THE LIBRARIAN

Japanese writing?

MR. WAKABAYASHI

Mainly poetry – 

from twelfth century to now. 

How form fits function.

So I need the book – 

just for another two weeks — 

THE LIBRARIAN

Someone’s picking up. 

Hello? Yes, I’m at Franklin. 

I have an I.L.L. here. 

(reading) “A World of Waka.” 

I have the ISBN: 

936 dash 2, 544 dash 315, 67 dash 5. 

(slower) Sure: 9362, 544315, yes? and 575. 

(to man) Their system is slow. 

(into the phone) 9362 – what? Oh, it’s back up and running? 

(to man) The system’s back up. 

VOICE ON THE P.A.

Attention patrons: 

The library is closing in just 10 minutes. 

Please check out your books. 

The library is closing in 10 more minutes. 

The man checks his phone. 

Another man joins the line. 

Both share cordial nods. 

THE LIBRARIAN

He wants to renew. 

I just need your permission. 

What is the problem? 

I told him our branch — 

uh huh, uh huh, uh huh, right. 

But why can’t you just — ? 

Oh, so during that process . . . ? 

But what if he has – 

uh huh, uh huh –

MR. WAKABAYASHI

Just kill me.

THE LIBRARIAN

Well, thank you so much. 

You too, have a good weekend. 

(to Mr. Wakabayashi) Bad news, I’m afraid.

MR. WAKABAYASHI

I was sensing that.

THE LIBRARIAN

The book is in transition. 

MR. WAKABAYASHI

It’s changing gender?

THE LIBRARIAN

Classification: 

from open stacks to storage. 

So they need it back.

MR. WAKABAYASHI

They don’t need it now. 

What difference will two weeks make? 

THE LIBRARIAN

I’m really sorry. 

MR. WAKABAYASHI

(to the man behind) Do you believe this? 

(to The Librarian) I still have two days on it — 

Right? It’s due Monday? 

I’ll bring it back then. 

I’ll get no sleep for two days, 

but, hey, shouganai. 

Lemme have it back. 

THE LIBRARIAN

I’m afraid I can’t do that. 

MR. WAKABAYASHI

And why would that be?

THE LIBRARIAN 

I checked it back in. 

When you handed it to me. 

MR. WAKABAYASHI

So check it back out. 

THE LIBRARIAN

Unfortunately –

MR. WAKABAYASHI

You can’t check out in this branch.

THE LIBRARIAN

I’m very sorry. 

MR. WAKABAYASHI

I should have kept it. 

I could have held on to it. 

Paid a little fine. 

MR. HARRISON

Can I go ahead?

MR. WAKABAYASHI

Excuse me, I’m trying to –

MR. HARRISON

You’re trying to what? 

She’s told you repeatedly 

you can’t have the book. 

Why don’t you buy it?

MR. WAKABAYASHI

It’s fifty years old. 

MR. HARRISON

So eBay or Amazon? 

MR. WAKABAYASHI

No, and it’s not digitized. 

THE LIBRARIAN

It’s not. I just checked.

MR. HARRISON

My condolences. 

Mr. Harrison 

makes a move to go ahead. 

This is unwelcome. 

MR. WAKABAYASHI

What do you think you’re doing?

MR. HARRISON

Don’t hold up the line.

MR. WAKABAYASHI

I’m not finished here!

THE LIBRARIAN

There’s really nothing –

MR. HARRISON

Why don’t you just move along?

MR. WAKABAYASHI

Hey, mind your business. 

MR. HARRISON

You mind your manners. 

MR. WAKABAYASHI

Really? Like I’m the asshole? 

MR. HARRISON

You said it, not me.

THE LIBRARIAN

Keep your voices down.

MR. WAKABAYASHI

(to her) I just want my fucking book!

MR. HARRISON

Whoa, buddy, language.

MR. WAKABAYASHI

You want some language? Kuso kurae – look it up.

VOICE ON THE P.A.

Attention patrons: 

we are closing soon. 

Kindly finish checking out. 

Doors will be closing. 

MR. HARRISON 

Get out of my way!

Mr. Harrison 

pushes past the poor patron. 

The latter lunges, 

and he swats Harrison’s books 

down to the carpet. 

MR. WAKABAYASHI

You dropped something.

MR. HARRISON

I’ll drop you!

THE LIBRARIAN

Both of you, please leave!

Wakabayashi 

kicks Harrison’s books away. 

MR. HARRISON

You motherfucker!

THE LIBRARIAN

Take it to the parking lot!

MR. WAKABAYASHI

Yeah, right now! You. Me. 

MR. HARRISON

Let’s do this. Come on!

Pushing and shoving, 

both exit the library. 

We hear their fighting. 

The Librarian 

sighs as she starts packing up. 

VOICE ON THE P.A.

The library is now closed. 

Thank you to the staff. 

Have a good weekend. 

The library is now closed. 

Have a good weekend.

The telephone rings. 

THE LIBRARIAN

Franklin branch, hello. 

Oh, hi, yes, thanks again for – 

(nods) The Japanese book — 

the one for storage. 

I’ll ship it back on Monday. 

Uh huh, uh huh, but – 

So it isn’t storage? 

Really, you’re discarding it? 

I hear you: no space. 

So do I need to – 

uh huh, uh huh, that’s easy. 

No, we have no room. 

So I’ll just discard? 

Thanks for the heads up on this. 

You too, good weekend.

She hangs up and shrugs. 

The fighting sounds have faded.

She goes to the door. 

THE LIBRARIAN

(calling out) If you still want that – 

She goes back inside 

and quickly dials a number. 

THE LIBRARIAN

Hi. Can we get an ambulance? 

For two guys, they’re both – 

Yes, I can hold, thanks.

While she is waiting, 

she finds “A World of Waka” 

and thumbs the pages. 

Bored, she then stamps it: 

REMOVE FROM CIRCULATION. 

BOOK IS DISCARDED. 

She throws it away. 

THE LIBRARIAN

Hello? yes, I’m still here. 

Keep holding? Sure, no problem. 

(sighs) God, bureaucracy. 

LIGHTS DOWN – END OF PLAY

NON-FICTION – ESSAY – HUMOROUS: Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #182 (3/23/2024): JOKES FOR PURIM

RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #182 (3/23/2024): Jokes for Purim 

airs March 23, 2024 on Dave’s Gone By. Watch on YouTube:  https://tinyurl.com/ne26enfs

Shalom Dammit! This is Rabbi Sol Solomon with a Rabbinical Reflection for the joyous holiday of Purim.  

Purim is one of those times when the Jews faced brutal annihilation and yet were somehow spared and got revenge — kinda like… last year. When reading the Purim story, the megillah, we use noisemakers to drown out the name of our bitterest antagonist, Haman, which is Persian for “Sarandon.” We also dress in costumes so the IRS won’t recognize us, and we’re supposed to get so drunk we’re unable to distinguish our friends from our enemies. In that way we’re like left-wing Democrats. 

My manner of celebrating the Purim simcha is to laugh. Ha ha ha. But so I don’t seem psychotic, I attach my laughter to jokes. Freud said that comedy is an expression of the subconscious battling to be heard in a society that drowns out anything non-conformist. (I think that’s what he said; I don’t speak German.) So let’s examine the psyche of a couple of classic Jewish jokes:  

Yankel has found this girl on J-Date, and he’s meeting in person for the first time. They’ve got an 8 o’clock reservation to meet at the swankiest Kosher restaurant in town, but it’s 7:50, and Yankel is circling the block unable to find a parking space. He drives around again and still no spot. Finally, he prays to God, he says, “God, this girl might be my bashert. Please let me find parking.”

But nothing opens up, and Yankel keeps driving. It’s now 7:55, and Yankel’s beside himself. “God,” he says, “If you find me a parking spot, I’ll never miss Friday services again.” 

Still, no spaces, and he circles `round the block. Now it’s 7:59, and he’s frantic. He calls out to HaShem, “God, I swear, if you find me a spot, I’ll donate $500 to the United Jewish Appeal.” Suddenly, right in front of the restaurant, a car pulls out leaving a space. Yankel says, “Never mind, God. I found one.”

What does this joke tell us about taking the Lord’s name in vain? That we do it. That under duress, we are apt to say anything, make any promise. it’s what every person does going into surgery hoping they’ll come out of surgery. It’s every horny putz who tells a girl he’ll still respect her in the morning, and it’s every girl who believes him. It’s anyone who eats half a pizza pie and says, “Oy God, I’m  never eating again.” Two hours later: “What, there’s one slice left over? Lemme just finish it.” 

Humans show an uncanny talent for pivoting from need to satiation and right back to need. The little stops they make along the way to fulfill those needs — well, they’re often forgotten the way a pregnant woman can’t recall the pain of labor. After all, if mama did, she’d shoot the father, punch her OB, and strangle the infant with its umbilical cord. Instead, she’s moved forward, hugging the father, cradling her newborn, and wondering when her vagina will stop looking like the mouth of a camel.

Anyway, let’s have another joke—this one highly appropriate for our fraught and frightful times. When God was creating the world, he called his builders—the angels—together and told them His plan for a Jewish homeland called Israel. “It will be a magical place,” God said, “beautiful, with hills, gardens, and so many natural wonders. And the Jews will be smart and resourceful. They’ll build great cities and farms, make fantastic art, excel in science and engineering. Truly, Israel will be a beacon to all nations.”

“Sounds amazing, God,” said the angels. “But won’t the rest of the world see all this perfect stuff and be jealous of the Jews?”

“Nope,” the Lord replied. “Wait till they see who they have as neighbors.” 

Of course, this joke has an especially jagged edge these days—even though, technically, Israel was attacked not by neighbors but by its own squatters:  Muslims we were nice enough to give land to—inside the Jewish state—rather than forcing them to move to Africa or Arabia or, God forbid, Amityville. And the upshot is that for 75 years, while trying just to survive in our minuscule homeland, we have been confronted with non-stop terrorism and war. And now, the Arabs’ misinformation campaign has been swallowed up by the kinds of teary-eyed liberals who think shoplifting is the store’s fault, turnstile jumping is a human right, and blocking traffic is an act of courage rather than anarchy. 

But I’m sorry — it’s Purim. I meant to keep things light. So here’s one more joke: It’s late night and a policeman sees a car speeding down the highway. He pulls the car over and is surprised to see the driver: a rumpled, middle-aged Jewish man. 

The officer runs his information and says, “Mr. Schwartz, we both know you were speeding. But it’s 2AM. Where were you racing?”

“To a lecture,” says the driver. 

“A lecture?,” says the cop. “Who gives a lecture at this hour?” 

“My wife.” 

This isn’t technically a Jewish joke; it could work for anybody. But the joke tastes Jewish because it teaches us that you always answer for your deeds. If it isn’t to a policeman’s blotter or a judge, it’s to your spouse, or your boss, or your children, or maybe just that reflection in the mirror. So whenever possible, we try to be our better selves. Rather than dread the consequences of our actions, we want to anticipate the delight our efforts will bring to others. Needless to say, this is an ideal, and as flawed human beings we’re more likely to do the right thing for the wrong reason, or the wrong thing for any reasons, than be perfect people. But on Purim, when right and wrong are intentionally confuzzled, we can simply enjoy the mishegoss inherent in being human and Jewish. 

This has been a Rabbinical Reflection from Rabbi Sol Solomon, Temple Sons of Bitches in Great Neck, New York. (spins grogger) Roger Waters. Jonathan Glazer. Susan Fucking Sarandon!

(c)2024 TotalTheater. All rights reserved.

INDEX: POETRY

INDEX – POEMS

Humorous

2018-present: Colorado Limericks of the Damned
(nearly 300(!) limericks about places in Colorado)
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-hd

June 2023: Broadway Limericks of the Darned
(written to highlight nominees of the 2023 Broadway Tony Awards)
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-2HU

Jan. 2016: Lech Mipo
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-8h

Jan. 2013: Rabbi Lacey
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-8o

Jan. 1991: JoAnne Worley, Bea Arthur, and Me
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-24

1986: 3 Terror-Dactyls and a Clerihew
(four short and silly verses in dactyl form)
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-HF

*

Serious
(Index to serious (or seriously intended!) poetry by David Lefkowitz).

JUST A FEW UNANSWERED QUESTIONS (1981)
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-F2

A WEAKNESS (1993)
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-2Jn

*

POETRY INDEX: https://wp.me/pzvIo-ts

NON-FICTION – ESSAY – HUMOROUS: Rabbi Sol Solomon’s Rabbinical Reflection #181 (1/11/2024): NEW JOKES

RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTION #180 (1/11/2024): New Jokes

airs Jan. 13, 2024 on Dave’s Gone By. Youtube clip: https://youtu.be/mk70q6FrnN8

Shalom Dammit! This is Rabbi Sol Solomon with a Rabbinical Reflection to start the new year. A week or so after the new year. 

What better way to get 2024 rolling than to have you, my beloved acolytes, rolling in the aisles with hilarious punch lines? I will share with you some Jewish jokes — brand new! written by yours truly! Or, if you hate them, written by Jo Koy.

Please note that if you are politically correct or take offense easily, these jokes are not for you. Then again, what jokes are?

Joke number one: Two Arabs are shopping for prayer rugs at a giant bazaar in Jerusalem. A little Jewish shop owner comes out and says, “Please! We have the best rugs! You must see!”

The Arabs are skeptical — what does this Jewish merchant know about prayer mats? — but they say, “Sure. What’ve you got?”

The salesman rolls out two small rugs and says, “My brother and I, we don’t sell any old schmattes like the others places. These are magical flying carpets.”

“Oh, come on,” the Arabs say.

“No, please! These were woven by the purest virgins and blessed by the highest Imams in all of Turkey and Iran. Sit!”

So the first Arab kneels on the carpet and waits. And waits. He says, “It’s nice, but it’s not flying.”

“Oh,” says the Jew. “That’s because you haven’t said the secret words. You have to think really hard of a phrase that has meaning to you. Whisper those words into the carpet. Then, when you’re ready, shout the phrase as loud as you can, and you will take flight!”

The Arab rolls his eyes. But then he shrugs, thinks a moment, leans forward, and whispers into the fringes of the rug. 

“Get in position!,” calls the merchant. “And scream it out!” 

The Arab takes hold and yells, “Free Palestine!” Suddenly, a big wind starts up, and the carpet rises off the ground, two feet, three feet, ten feet in the air. “This is incredible!” says the Arab. “Ahmed, you have to try it!” 

His friend gets on the other carpet, whispers to it, then sits up and yells, “Death to Israel!” Another wind gust comes, and his carpet goes five feet, ten feet, fifteen feet high. 

“How do I go up like him?” says the first Arab.

“You can both go much higher,” calls the Israeli. “You just have to close your eyes, concentrate, and keep shouting your secret words over and over.”

“Race you to the sky!” says Ahmed, as both Arabs close their eyes, think real hard, and start screaming, “Free Palestine!” “Death to Israel!” “Free Palestine!” “Death to Israel!” Both carpets go higher and higher: 30 feet, 50 feet, 70 feet off the ground.

The shop owner’s brother comes out from behind the counter and says, “Shmuley, should I do it now?”

“Nah,” says Shmuley. “Wait till they’re 100 feet up. Then turn off the blowers.”

Now, what do we learn from this joke? Well, first of all, if a person wants to believe something strongly enough, he or she or they will put aside rational judgment and go with it. This not only explains religion, and how we all worship to fairy stories written thousands of years ago, but it’s the reason we leave the house without an umbrella, even after the weatherman’s warned us: 60 percent chance of rain. We think: “It’s not gonna rain the ten minutes I’m outside.” It will, it does, you’re soaked.

Next joke: an Englishman, a Frenchman, and a Palestinian all die and find themselves at the gates of hell. The Englishman peeks in for a moment and says, “Well, it seems rather unpleasant, but so long as I can have my afternoon tea and spend the evening watching telly, I should get by all right.” 

The Frenchman opens the gate of hell, wanders around a bit, then storms back, saying, “Mon dieu! Zis is an outrage! Ze heat, ze hard work! Soon as I can, I am starting ze labor union and everyone goes on strike!” 

Finally, it’s the Palestinian’s turn. He takes a deep breath, throws open the gates, stomps in, and marches straight up to the devil. Then he says, “Honey, I’m home!”

This joke does not play well on college campuses, but then again, I do not play well on college campuses. They see me as a brutal colonizer, which is unfair. I’ve had many brutal colonics, but that’s not what they mean. 

Anyway, these are difficult and ridiculous times for Jews everywhere. Our enemies surround us, sometimes they are us, and many are so naive they think they’re helping us by helping our enemies. As I said: ridiculous times. The best way to muddle through is to laugh — sometimes through gritted teeth.

Hey, how many Hamas militants can you stuff into an open grave? 

I don’t know, but I sure hope we find out.

This has been a Rabbinical Reflection from Rabbi Sol Solomon, Temple Sons of Bitches in Great Neck, New York.

(c)2024 TotalTheater. All rights reserved.

—> https://youtu.be/mk70q6FrnN8

—> https://shalomdammit.wordpress.com/2024/01/10/rabbi-sol-solomons-rabbinical-reflection-181-1-13-2024-new-jokes-lefkowitz/

–> http://tinyurl.com/yck74d4e

–> https://davelefkowitzwriting.wordpress.com/2024/01/11/non-fiction-essay-humorous-rabbi-sol-solomons-rabbinical-reflection-181-1-11-2024-new-jokes-lefkowitz/

INDEX: MEDIA PLAYS (film, TV, Radio)

SCREENPLAYS, TELEPLAYS, RADIO PLAYS

BOOKWORM! (short horror-comedy, 1988)
(co-written with Al Hunter)
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-FQ

EXTRA (short comedy, 1987)
(conceived by Zvi Arav, based on a short story by Ephraim Kishon)
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-Gf

MUDDY
1983 (short comedy. Synopsis: A spoof of Paddy Chayefsky’s Marty, wherein (ugly) boy meets (homely) girl)
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-Ha

REAL TO REEL
1983 (short comic radio play. Synopsis: Unscrupulous TV reporter covers a fire)
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-HL

THE SECOND COMING OF MICHAEL ZIVITZ (screenplay treatment, dark comedy, 1983)
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-KZ

SEPARATING (short drama, 1983)
(adapted from John Updike short story)
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-Lp

TOFU LIZARD MAMA (short comedy, 1984)
(co-written by Philip Halprin)
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-1Ee
{produced 1985; directed by Philip Halprin. (watch here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d_nHbpOaYME)

UP WITH THE JONESES
1985 (short screenplay. Synopsis: A perfect American family has its Walpurgistag)
—> https://wp.me/pzvIo-Id