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INDEX: Songs

SONGS

by David Lefkowitz

Below please find a list of many of my songs — funny, serious, satirical, dark — with links to their lyrics on this website. Many of these songs were performed on my radio program, Dave’s Gone By, or may be heard on my youtube channel.
For more information, including rights and permissions, please contact me at davesgoneby_at_aol.com.

All songs (c) by David Lefkowitz, unless otherwise noted.

*

ALEPH BAIS (2017): http://wp.me/pzvIo-6b
(a fat-free parody tune from a Rabbi’s perspective when he teaches Bar Mitzvah bochers their Haftorah portions)

ALMOST A SONNET (1981): http://wp.me/pzvIo-O
(a lightly serious love song with a nod to the bard)

AMAGANSETT PRINCESS (1984): http://wp.me/pzvIo-T
(a fairly serious song about a girl looking for all the wrong things in all the wrong ways)

ANAL DREIDEL (2007, co-author: Rabbi Sol Solomon): http://wp.me/pzvIo-3y
(Thanks to a new medical procedure, Rabbi Sol Solomon discovers a new toy…and talent)

THE ANSWERS TO BLOWING IN THE WIND (1980): https://wp.me/pzvIo-eJ
(Who said the questions had to be rhetorical?)

THE ANTLERS ARE BLOWING IN THE WIND (aka “Moose You Around”) (1985): http://wp.me/pzvIo-2g
(An absurdly romantic waltz)

AR-15 (2018): https://wp.me/pzvIo-gh
(Yet another real-life psychopath turning a school into a mausoleum)

AROUND THE OOSTERHUIS (2017): https://wp.me/pzvIo-vI
<em(What else is there to do in an oyster house except run around it?)

BACH PRELUDE #1 IN F.U. MAJOR: https://wp.me/pzvIo-fn
(A goofy plateful of hateful)

BAD, BAD MAN (2017): https://wp.me/pzvIo-eD
(Yet another sociopath doing satistic things, parodically)

THE BAGEL BOAT SONG (1985, co-author: Rabbi Sol Solomon): http://wp.me/pzvIo-13
(A “Banana Boat Song” parody, kosher-style, which was performed in the stage play, Shalom Dammit! An Evening with Rabbi Sol Solomon)

THE BALLAD OF PETE TOWNSHEND (2003): http://wp.me/pzvIo-3A
(A tune penned when The Who balladeer was having legal troubles with the interwebs)

THE BALLAD OF TEENY PEENIE (1985, co=author: Scott Rodolitz): http://wp.me/pzvIo-16
(A silly song. Infantile even)

BAXTER HOLVOE’S VOLVO SONG (1991): http://wp.me/pzvIo-8v
(A creepily comic ballad for a sociopathic seducer. Ah, love!)

BEFORE THE GOLDRUSH (1984): http://wp.me/pzvIo-19
(A semi-serious song about the way rock bands rise and crash.)

BEN GAZZARA (1994): http://wp.me/pzvIo-2d
(A deeply earnest lament about missing this fine actor — written many years before he’d actually died)

BETTER DO IT NOW (1984, auths: Scott Rodolitz, Jay Auerfeld, and Kevin Gerber): http://wp.me/pzvIo-9t
(Wish I’d written this catchy, sharp song about Long Island life, but I didn’t. My bandmates did.)

BRUNO (1981): https://wp.me/pzvIo-gL
(Carey may get out his cane, but Bruno breaks out objects on a whole other level)

CAPTAIN LIFLANDER’S MADRIGAL (2003): http://wp.me/pzvIo-3C
(A satirical tune about American exceptionalism and weaponry)

CAUGHT (w.t.c.o.h.c.) (1986): http://wp.me/pzvIo-1f
(A thoroughly reprehensible comic song about a young girl’s evening proclivities)

CHANUKAH WISHES (2008): http://wp.me/pzvIo-3E
(A comic song about a Jewish boy’s true hopes for the Chanukah holiday)

CHERRY ON TOP (1984): http://wp.me/pzvIo-1k
(A satirical tune mocking 1980s Long Island youth culture, such as it was)

COMING AND GOING (1984): http://wp.me/pzvIo-1q
(A downright depressing song about friendship and betrayal)

COMMUTED SENTENCE (1984): http://wp.me/pzvIo-e2
(A serious number about the, um, joys of commuting to and from NYC

CONSTIPATED (2017): http://wp.me/pzvIo-6T
(A parody song about a poor woman whose stones aren’t rolling)

COVER’D WITH CRAP (2003): http://wp.me/pzvIo-3G
(A comical and aptly disgusting sea shanty)

CRACK OF A WHITE MAN’S ASS (1992): http://wp.me/pzvIo-8t
(A song as anatomical as it is comical)

CRAPPY DAYS ARE HERE AGAIN (2008): http://wp.me/pzvIo-3I
(A song parody penned in the midst of the recession)

CRIMINAL JUSTICE (1984): http://wp.me/pzvIo-1u
(A song parody of Joe Cuba’s “Bang Bang” featuring a very bad mother)

DAMN SCHOOL, APPROXIMATELY (1979): https://wp.me/pzvIo-er
(A Dylan song parody knocking and mocking the education system

A DAY IN THE LIFE (OF A PSYCHOPATH) (1979): https://wp.me/pzvIo-fC
(I wrote about a sociopath today, oh boy)

DAYENU (2003): http://wp.me/pzvIo-46
(A Passover parody song that thanks God for…well, something)

DEAD AIR (1985, co-author: Scott Rodolitz): http://wp.me/pzvIo-1A
(A fairly serious tune about the ills of American radio)

DEAD BLOWFISH (2015): http://wp.me/pzvIo-49
(A parody of “Dead Puppies” dedicated, with apologies, to Miley Cyrus’s departed pet)

DEEP IN THE HEART OF DALLAS (2016): http://wp.me/pzvIo-4d
(In response to the Black Lives Matter movement, a darkly satirical song parody of “Deep in the Heart of Texas”)

A DINGO ATE MY BABY (2003): http://wp.me/pzvIo-3t
(A darkly comical number, to be bellowed in a thick Aussie accent)

DO THE ONION (2008): http://wp.me/pzvIo-9f
(A slow, gloomy dance for people who have no interest in dancing)

DO THE PHOENIX (1994): http://wp.me/pzvIo-2j
(A darkly satirical song instructing lucky teens on how they can die just like River Phoenix)

DON’T MESS WITH US (2003, co-author: Rabbi Sol Solomon): http://wp.me/pzvIo-4h
(A plucky tune, loosely based on an old Yiddish melody, about Jews’ resiliency)

DON’T THINK TWICE, JUST GO (2009): http://wp.me/pzvIo-4m
(A song parody of Bob Dylan’s “Don’t Think Twice, It’s Alright,” dedicated to GWB)

DOUBLE HERNIA (HERNIA BOTH SIDES) (1980): https://wp.me/pzvIo-gT
(With apologies to David Bowie and my intestines)

DRINK TILL I’M DRUNK (2010): https://wp.me/pzvIo-fg
(A jolly Irish song about Irish activities)

ELEPHANT WOMAN WANT GO HOME (1991): http://wp.me/pzvIo-8H
(An a cappella, call-and-response tune perfect for hauling…stuff)

ENEMA BLUES (1978): http://wp.me/pzvIo-5o
(A happily Elvis-ish tune about going with the flow)

EVERY DAY ON THE 5:09 (1984): http://wp.me/pzvIo-1N
(A fairly serious song about enduring life on the Long Island Rail Road)

FLOWERS WEREN’T MEANT TO LAST (1985): http://wp.me/pzvIo-4p
(The plaintive complaint of a singer-songwriter)

FRONTAL LOBOTOMY BLUES (1979 co-author: Scott Rodolitz, revised 2006): http://wp.me/pzvIo-1J
(With apologies to “Mannish Boy,” a sick tune about a sick tot)

FUN IN THE KITCHEN (1979): http://wp.me/pzvIo-5r
(A sick calypso ditty that will not be a hit with PETA)

(I’M HAVING A) GAY CHRISTMAS (2004, co-author: Peter Fitzgerald): http://wp.me/pzvIo-4u
(A pervy nod to alternative holiday celebrations)

GO CIALIS (2014): http://wp.me/pzvIo-4A
(To the tune of “White Rabbit,” this pharmaceutical tribute rocks, um, harder)

HAIR ON MY KNUCKLES (1980): https://wp.me/pzvIo-gF
(Though it’s not true that having hair on one’s knuckles signifies retardation, that doesn’t deter the muse…)

HAPPY FOOT SONG
(see listing under MY FOOT)

HE’S GOT THE SHITHOLE WORLD (IN HIS HANDS) (2018): https://wp.me/pzvIo-g3
(A timely immigration song for our President)

HELLUVA LIFE (1979): https://wp.me/pzvIo-fs
(The joys of castration, Bee Gees style)

HERE’S TO THE HIGH SCHOOL (1984): http://wp.me/pzvIo-5t
(A bitter alma mater for bitter alma martyrs)

HOLIDAY CONGA (co-author: Rabbi Sol Solomon, 2008): https://wp.me/pzvIo-gt
(The beauty of Jewish holidays is not their sacredness or spirituality; it’s that there’s so many of `em)

I KNOW WHAT GOYS LIKE (2012): http://wp.me/pzvIo-4G
(A parody tune, co-written with Rabbi Sol Solomon for his stage show, Shalom, Dammit!)

I THOUGHT ABOUT YOU (author: Scott Rodolitz, 1984): http://wp.me/pzvIo-dU
(A catchy tune about finding the right girl at the wrong time)

I WANNA DECOMPOSE (1979, co-author: Scott Rodolitz): https://wp.me/pzvIo-f3
(Nihilism at its goofiest)

I WANNA HOLD YOUR STUMP (1979): http://wp.me/pzvIo-5H
(Look ma, a Beatles song parody with no hands!)

I’M GONNA PISS MYSELF (2017): https://wp.me/pzvIo-ev
(A Beatles parody about something yellow that isn’t a submarine)

I’M ME (1991): http://wp.me/pzvIo-8K
(A jaunty tune celebrating the self)

I’M TOO SEXY (FOR MY PROSTATE) (2017, co-author: Rabbi Sol Solomon): http://wp.me/pzvIo-cN
(A parodic disco ditty about the Rabbi’s various ailments)

IN HIS ASS (2017): http://wp.me/pzvIo-ea
(A spirited spiritual about items actually inserted by people into their interstices)

IS IT GOOD FOR THE JEWS (2004, co-author: Rabbi Sol Solomon): http://wp.me/pzvIo-4J
(A Yiddishy ditty that asks the age-old question)

IT WAS AN ALL RIGHT DAY (2017, co-author: Rabbi Sol Solomon): http://wp.me/pzvIo-70
(a parody of Ice Cube’s “It was a Good Day” from a Jewish perspective.)

IT’S A STIFF (2003): http://wp.me/pzvIo-4M
(a dark song parody, to “Let it Snow,” about a true New York story)

JEOPARDY KEN (2004): http://wp.me/pzvIo-4P
(A song parody, to the Beatles’ “The Continuing Story of Bungalow Bill,” written to celebrate “Jeopardy” celeb Ken Jennings)

JERREE (2017): http://wp.me/pzvIo-dx
(Jerry Lewis is no longer with us, but don’t tell that to the retarded boy who loves him…)

THE JERRY LEWIS TELETHON HOP (1984): http://wp.me/pzvIo-dv
(Penned by Scott Rodolitz and Kevin Gerber, a mostly instrumental tribute to the nutty telethon host)

JOEY, THE SPASTIC KANGAROO (2003): http://wp.me/pzvIo-4R
(A bouncy comic tune about an Aussie animal that bounces too freely)

KENNEDY CAR CAR (fka Song for Ted Kennedy) (1980): http://wp.me/pzvIo-de
(A folkie number about the chap acquitted)

KILLIN’ THE CANDIDATES (1984): http://wp.me/pzvIo-5J
(A darkly comic look at the trigger happy)

KISS ME, I’M IRISH (2018): https://wp.me/pzvIo-gA
(A song for the Irishman in all of us)

THE KOSHER HOT DOG PICNIC (2017): http://wp.me/pzvIo-as
(A children’s folk song about–what else?–depravity)

LA-LA LAND (1988): http://wp.me/pzvIo-J
(A song parody of John Denver’s “Leaving on a Jet Plane” written specifically for a “Howard Stern Show” contest)

LADY LIBERTY (1984): http://wp.me/pzvIo-5L
(A playful number about a statuesque lady)

LAMENT #9 (1982): http://wp.me/pzvIo-5P
(If John Lennon heard this song parody, he’d primal scream)

LET HIM PEE (1979): https://wp.me/pzvIo-ez
(Even early on, I was a “whiz” at Beatles parodies)

LOOK WHAT THEY DONE TO MY HEAD, MA (2004): http://wp.me/pzvIo-4U
(With apologies to Melanie, a dark song parody for the age of terrorism)

M-O-T-H-E-R (2003): http://wp.me/pzvIo-4Z
(Inspired by moms and Theodore Morse & Howard Johnson’s alphabetical tribute to them)

MANY WAYS (2004): https://wp.me/pzvIo-x0
(A teachable moment about language, Mr. Rogers-style)

MAOZ TZURIS (2007): https://wp.me/pzvIo-wW
(A traditionally non-traditional Chanukah tune))

MADE IN THE USA (1985): http://wp.me/pzvIo-5X
(With apologies to The Boss, a parody song of planned obsolescence)

MAKIN’ POOPIES (2004): http://wp.me/pzvIo-4W
(A song parody for when you’re in the dumps)

THE MARRIAGE SONG (All You Do is Bitch) (2013): http://wp.me/pzvIo-3w
(A marital song parody of Lennon-McCartney’s “All You Need is Love”)

ME (1988): http://wp.me/pzvIo-20
(A joyfully comical-egocentrical tune)

MEM’RIES OF SCRANTON (1988): http://wp.me/pzvIo-9h
(A country-tinged, comical tune about family travels)

MICHAEL, ROW (1979): http://wp.me/pzvIo-65
(An environmentally conscious song parody)

MONSTERS OF THE WORLD (1985): http://wp.me/pzvIo-67
(A political song, both serious and ambivalent. Oh joy.)

MOOSE YOU AROUND (1985):
(see listing under The Antlers are Blowing in the Wind)

THE MOST OFFENSIVE SONG EVER WRITTEN (2017): http://wp.me/pzvIo-7G
(No, really, it’s vile. I dare you…)

MY BLUES (1979): https://wp.me/pzvIo-fd
(A disease parody from my diseased mind)

MY DOGGY’S CHRISTMAS GIFT (2004): http://wp.me/pzvIo-51
(A comical tune about how to keep your pet happy during the holidays)

MY FOOT (aka Happy Foot Song) (1990): http://wp.me/pzvIo-7C
(A comical marching tune about our neglected tootsies)

MY LADY’S A WILD BUZZARD (1979): https://wp.me/pzvIo-f5
(A tender parodic ballad extolling the behavior of a harridan)

NADINE (written by Scott Rodolitz, Jay Auerfeld & Kevin Gerber; 1979): http://wp.me/pzvIo-dA
(A doo-wop number about teenage love…from behind)

NAPERVILLE (1989): http://wp.me/pzvIo-1V
(A comical tribute to a somewhat underrated Chicago suburb)

THE NIPPLE SONG (1980): http://wp.me/pzvIo-6s
(A celebration of all things nipular)

NIRVANITY (2002): http://wp.me/pzvIo-54
(A parody with all apologies to the late Kurt Cobain)

NOT A FRIEND (1985): http://wp.me/pzvIo-6y
(A serious tune about the limits of platonics)

NOT THE CLAM BAR (1983): http://wp.me/pzvIo-da
(A Clash parody that chooses pastrami over prawns)

NOTHING IN THIS WORLD (1985): http://wp.me/pzvIo-6C
(A seriously depressing song about about muddling through the mundane)

O THURM (a.k.a. THURMAN MUNSON) (1980): https://wp.me/pzvIo-gW
(A Dylanesque tribute, of sorts, to a ballplayer’s demise)

OFF COLOUR (2018): https://wp.me/pzvIo-gm
(A parody song for, and about, young and old)

OH CUM ALL YOU FAITHFUL
(see listing under THE TWELVE PERVERSIONS OF CHRISTMAS)

OH DAT BEN (2015): http://wp.me/pzvIo-56
(A wry tribute to the early years of presidential candidate Ben Carson)

OH, MY LOVE (1984): http://wp.me/pzvIo-61
(A serious love song from a long time back)

ORGY BOY (1987): http://wp.me/pzvIo-22
(A joyfully depraved comic tune about naughty activities)

OY OY (2015, co-author: Rabbi Sol Solomon): http://wp.me/pzvIo-58
(A not-so-traditional Jewish hand-clapping song)

PHOENIX ENVY (2004): https://wp.me/pzvIo-fU
(A song for when Glen Campbell was more naughty than tragic)

PISHES SWEETER THAN WINE (2017): http://wp.me/pzvIo-5a
(A parody song about the fountain of aging)

THE PITY ME I’M POLISH POLKA (1979): http://wp.me/pzvIo-5d
(Well, at least it’s not an oberek)

PSYCHO BLUES (2006): http://wp.me/pzvIo-1C
(A darkly comic tune about the activities of a psychopath. Not autobiographical)

PUBIC HAIR (1991): http://wp.me/pzvIo-8M
(An ode to our nether feathers)

RABBI PEARL’S LAMENT (aka “The Schvartze Rubbed My Shmekel”) (1987, co-author Jeff Rothstein): http://wp.me/pzvIo-6G
(A comical cautionary tale for a man of soiled cloth)

RABBI SOL SOLOMON’S RABBINICAL REFLECTIONS THEME (2017): http://wp.me/pzvIo-5h
(How the good Rabbi opens his sermons)

RAIN ON THE BORDERLINE (1986): http://wp.me/pzvIo-6K
(A bit of unhappiness, in serious song form)

THE RECTUM OF EDMUND FITZGERALD (2004): http://wp.me/pzvIo-5l
(With apologies to Gordon Lightfoot and a lot of dead sailors, a dark parody tune inspired by a true Long Island travesty)

RING MY BELL (1991): http://wp.me/pzvIo-94
(A joyful number in Wild Man Fischer style)

SANDY DUNCAN’S EYE (2017): http://wp.me/pzvIo-5x
(a rhythmic and visionary tribute)

SANTA QUITS (2012): http://wp.me/pzvIo-6h
(a mashup piece, in Buchanan & Goodman style, using short samples from other artists).

SANTASIA (2004): http://wp.me/pzvIo-6m
(a not-safe-for-the-north-pole holiday poem about Santa’s depravity)

SEAMUS THE URINE MAN (1998): http://wp.me/pzvIo-6p
(An Irish tune, based on the true story of a Dublin shop owner with a unique bouquet)

SERVE SOMEBODY (1980): https://wp.me/pzvIo-gZ
(A parody tune ruing Bob Dylan’s stillborn again period)

SEW BUTTONS (1991): http://wp.me/pzvIo-8Y
(A bit of pure absurdist whimsy, with sprinkle of Wild Man Fischer)

SEX WITH A CHICKEN (2017): http://wp.me/pzvIo-9R
(A comical song for the bestial years of our lives)

SHAKING LIKE A MONKEY (1992): http://wp.me/pzvIo-1Q
(an absurdly happy comic tune about, well, doing the title)

SHEEP ARE MOIST (1982): http://wp.me/pzvIo-7J
(A comical, country-folk number that became the anthem of the band I was in at the time, The Moist Sheep)

THE SHIT SONG (2012, co-author: Rabbi Sol Solomon): http://wp.me/pzvIo-6X
(A comic ditty about world religions penned for the stage play, Shalom Dammit! An Evening with Rabbi Sol Solomon)

SNIPER’S LULLABY (2002): http://wp.me/pzvIo-aE
(Written for my radio show, a song–to the tune of “Hobo’s Lullaby”–to celebrate the capture of the Beltway snipers)

STUCK INSIDE OF HEWLETT WITH THE BROOKLYN BLUES AGAIN (1979): https://wp.me/pzvIo-fp
(A parody, of course, about rampant corruption, of course)

SUGAR, SPICE, AND A VERY SHARP AXE (co-author, Scott Rodolitz; 1979): http://wp.me/pzvIo-dh
(Lizzie Borden has nothing on this girl)

SWIMAWAY (2005): http://wp.me/pzvIo-ax
(A parody song inspired by the 2004 Indonesian tsunami, yet another iteration of “Mbube/Wimoweh/The Lion Sleeps Tonight)”

TAKE YOUR UNDEROOS DOWN (The Rolf Harris Song) (2014): http://wp.me/pzvIo-7w
(A Rolf Harris parody…and pillory)

TEN MORAY EELS (1991): http://wp.me/pzvIo-8B
(A strange poetic chant for those who find the little Indians too un-P.C.)

THAT SONG ABOUT THE LADY OF THE BOWERY: https://wp.me/pzvIo-gP
(Ah, when love is blind, deaf, and impervious to odor)

THE SCHVARTZE RUBBED MY SHMEKEL
(see listing under RABBI PEARL’S LAMENT)

THEN YOU’RE JEWISH (2012, co-author: Rabbi Sol Solomon): http://wp.me/pzvIo-73
(A comic ditty about modern Jewish life. The song is performed in the first act of the stage play, Shalom Dammit! An Evening with Rabbi Sol Solomon)

THIS ONE’S FOR YOU (1979): http://wp.me/pzvIo-5j
(The second — yes, second — song I wrote about enemas…and hopefully not the last)

TOILET PLUME (2020): https://wp.me/pzvIo-Kg

(A parody song about toilet etiquette penned during the COVID-19 crisis)

THE TRICKLE-DOWN LULLABY (1985): http://wp.me/pzvIo-2a
(A darkly satirical number about a desperate man. The piece was written with stage directions and can be performed as a brief one-act solo)

THE TWELVE PERVERSIONS OF CHRISTMAS (aka “Oh Cum All Ye Faithful”) (1979, co-author: Scott Rodolitz): http://wp.me/pzvIo-6O
(The melody is traditional the exploits are not)

THURMAN MUNSON
(see listing under “O THURM”)

TUMOR IN MY HEAD (1991): http://wp.me/pzvIo-8a
(A jaunty, non-autobiographical tune)

VEGETABLES ARE BAD FOR YOU (1979): http://wp.me/pzvIo-7L
(A comical country song about mercy killin’. Yee haw)

WAKKA WAKKA BOOM BOOM PIG (2001): http://wp.me/pzvIo-9o
(Penned in Italy and dedicated to the man selling splat pigs there)

WALK ON THE WEIRD SIDE (1980): http://wp.me/pzvIo-do
(And you thought Lou Reed was kinky?)

WHAT AM I? (1991): http://wp.me/pzvIo-8j
(A joyful song of the self)

WHEN I’M NINETY-THREE (1979): http://wp.me/pzvIo-dq
(A parodic ode to decrepitude)

THE WHITE JEW BLUES (1985): http://wp.me/pzvIo-7S
(Kind of an “oy is me” song for members of the tribe)

THE WORST SONG EVER WRITTEN (2017): http://wp.me/pzvIo-7y
(A love song utilizing every possible cliche and groaner rhyme. Someone should sing it through a megaphone)

YESHIVA BOY (2011, co-author: Rabbi Sol Solomon): http://wp.me/pzvIo-5U
(A bouncy Bob Seger parody that served as the opening number of Shalom Dammit!)

YAYS AND BOOZE (1979): https://wp.me/pzvIo-fi
(A parody ballad with a rather startling blood-alcohol content)

YOU DON’T GET ME HIGH (1980): https://wp.me/pzvIo-eO
(A song parody about love gone up in smoke)

YOUR MEAT’S TOO BIG (2008): http://wp.me/pzvIo-5A
(In Fats Waller parodies, size matters)

THEATER REVIEWS

ABE LINCOLN IN ILLINOIS (Broadway, December 1993)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-kN

ADDICTED: A COMEDY OF SUBSTANCE (off-Broadway, December 2003)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-lG

THE ADVENTURES OF TOM SAWYER (Broadway, May 2001)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-ll

ALICE (Brooklyn, NY, Oct. 1995)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-F5

ALL THE WAY (Broadway, June 2014)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-AE

AN ALMOST HOLY PICTURE (Broadway, February 2002)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-lt

ANNIE GET YOUR GUN (Marquis, March 1999)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-ly

ARE YOU DAVE GORMAN? (off-Broadway, December 2001)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-lK

ARTS & LEISURE (off-Broadway, May 1996)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-EJ

AS YOU LIKE IT – FRESH (off-Broadway, Sept. 1990)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-F7

THE ASSEMBLED PARTIES (Broadway, April 2013)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-hy

AVENUE Q (Broadway, August 2003)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-lC

BARBARA COOK: MOSTLY SONDHEIM (Broadway, July 2002)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-lP

BARTENDERS (off-Broaday, April 2003)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-u2

BAT BOY: The Musical (off-Broadway, April 2001)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-u6

BE (off-Broadway, April 2007)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-oH

BEA ARTHUR ON BROADWAY: JUST BETWEEN FRIENDS (Broadway, February 2002)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-lT

BEAUTY AND THE BEAST (Broadway, April 1996)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-m1

BEAUTY AND THE BEAST (Broadway, April 1994)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-lX

BELLS ARE RINGING (Broadway, April 2001)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-m4

BETTY RULES (off-Broadway, November 2003)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-ua

BIG APPLE CIRCUS – Big Top Doo-Wop (off-Broadway, November 2001)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-ue

BIG RIVER (Broadway, July 2003)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-m8

BILL MAHER: VICTORY BEGINS AT HOME (Broadway, July 2003)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-mc

BLAST! (Broadway, April 2001)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-mg

BLUE MAN GROUP: Tubes (off-Broadway, August 1994)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-um

BOOBS! THE MUSICAL (off-Broadway, October 2003)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-uq

BOOK OF DAYS (off-Broadway, November 2002)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-uu

THE BOYS FROM SYRACUSE (Broadway, September 2002)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-mk

BRUTAL IMAGINATION (off-Broadway, January 2002)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-uy

BURIED CHILD (Broadway, April 1996)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-Ey

BURN THIS (off-Broadway, September 2002)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-uC

BUTLEY (Boston, MA, November 2003)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-uG

BY JEEVES (Broadway, November 2001)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-mo

BY THE SEA, BY THE SEA, BY THE BEAUTIFUL SEA (off-Broadway, May 1996)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-EG

CABARET (Broadway, Jan. 2002)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-uO

CABARET (Broadway, March 1998)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-uK

CAESAR AND CLEOPATRA (off-Broadway, Oct. 2019)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-HO

CAFE A GO GO (off-Broadway, June 2003)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-t4

THE CARBON COPY BUILDING (off-off-Broadway, October 1999)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-t9

CARNIVAL KNOWLEDGE [Todd Robbins] (off-Broadway, October 2003)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-td

CATS (Broadway, June 1997)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-sJ

CATS (Broadway, 1994)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-sF

A CELEBRATION OF SILLINESS! [Fred Anderson] (San Francisco, CA, August 2003)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-tK

THE CHANG FRAGMENTS (off-Broadway, 1996)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-ED

CHICAGO (Broadway, November 1996)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-sM

CINDERELLA [aka Rodgers + Hammerstein’s Cinderella] (Broadway, April 2013)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-hD

CITY OF ANGELS (Broadway, April 1990)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-K6

A CLASS ACT (Broadway, March 2001)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-sS

THE COLOR PURPLE (Broadway, December 2005)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-sW

COMEDIANS (off-Broadway, January 2003)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-tz

THE COMPLETE WORKS OF WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE (ABRIDGED) (off-Broadway, October 2001)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-tC

COOKIN’ (off-Broadway, October 2003)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-lp

THE COUNTESS (off-Broadway, September 1999)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-tG

CRASHING (off-off-Broadway, November 2003)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-tN

CRIMES OF THE HEART (off-Broadway, May 2001)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-tR

CRISS ANGEL MINDFREAK (off-Broadway, December 2001)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-tV

THE CRUCIBLE (Broadway, March 2002)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-t0

CYMBELINE (off-Broadway, January 2002)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-tZ

DANCE OF DEATH (Broadway, November 2001)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-rL

DANGEROUS CORNER (off-Broadway, October 1995)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-F9

DANCE OF THE VAMPIRES (Broadway, December 2002)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-rP

A DAY IN THE DEATH OF JOE EGG (Broadway, April 2003)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-rT

THE DAZZLE (off-Broadway, April 2002)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-sd

DE LA GUARDA: VILLA VILLA (off-Broadway, April 2003)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-sh

DEATH OF A SALESMAN (Broadway, May 2012)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-D0

DEBBIE DOES DALLAS (off-Broadway, February 2003)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-sl

DEF POETRY JAM ON BROADWAY (Broadway, December 2002)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-rX

DEFENDING THE CAVEMAN (Broadway, March 1995)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-s1

DESIGN FOR LIVING (Broadway, March 2001)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-s5

DESPERATE MEASURES (off-Broadway, October 2018)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-v6

DINNER AT EIGHT (Broadway, January 2003)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-s9

DISGRACED (Broadway, Jan. 2015)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-z0

DRAGAPELLA! WITH THE KINSEY SICKS (off-Broadway, November 2001)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-sB

EARS ON A BEATLE (off-Broadway, April 2004)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-rq

ELAINE STRITCH AT LIBERTY (Broadway, February 2002)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-st

THE ELEPHANT MAN (Broadway, April 2002)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-sp

ELI’S COMIN’ (off-Broadway, June 2001)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-rv

ENDPAPERS (off-Broadway, April 2002)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-rz

EPIC PROPORTIONS (Broadway, October 1999)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-sx

EVERETT BEEKIN (off-Broadway, November 2001)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-rD

THE EXONERATED (off-Broadway, October 2002)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-rH

THE FANTASTICKS (off-Broadway, March 1996)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-qk

FAR AND WIDE (off-Broadway, October 2003)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-qr

THE FATHER (Broadway, January 1996)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-qT

FIRST LOVE (off-Broadway, September 2001)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-qv

FISH IN THE DARK (Broadway, July 2015)
http://wp.me/pzvIo-cv

THE FLAMING IDIOTS (off-Broadway, January 2002)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-qA

FLOWER DRUM SONG (Broadway, October 2002)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-qX

FOOTLOOSE (Broadway, October 1998)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-r1

FORBIDDEN BROADWAY CLEANS UP ITS ACT (off-Broadway, January 1999)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-qE

FORTUNE’S FOOL (Broadway, April 2002)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-r5

42ND STREET (Broadway, April 2001)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-rd

45 SECONDS FROM BROADWAY (Broadway, November 2001)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-r9

FOSSE (Broadway, January 1999)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-rh

FOUR (off-Broadway, March 2002)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-qI

THE FOURTH WALL (off-Broadway, December 2002)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-qL

FRANKIE AND JOHNNY IN THE CLAIRE DE LUNE (Broadway, August 2002)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-rl

FRED ANDERSON: A CELEBRATION OF SILLINESS! (San Francisco, CA, August 2003)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-tK

FROM DOOR TO DOOR (off-Broadway, March 2004)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-qP

THE GATHERING (Broadway, April 2001)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-px

GEORGE GERSHWIN ALONE (Broadway, May 2001)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-pB

THE GIN GAME (Broadway, December 2015)
http://wp.me/pzvIo-c3

GIRL FROM THE NORTH COUNTRY (off-Broadway, October 2018)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-v2

THE GOAT OR WHO IS SYLVIA (Broadway, March 2002)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-pF

GOD SHOWS UP (off-Broadway, Feb. 2019)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-Fd

GOLDA’S BALCONY (off-Broadway, April 2003)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-nt

GONE MISSING (off-Broadway, July 2007)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-J2

THE GOOD THIEF (off-Broadway, April 2001)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-nx

THE GRADUATE (Broadway, March 2002)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-pJ

GREASE! (Broadway, May 1994)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-pN

THE GUYS (off-Broadway, September 2002)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-nB

GYPSY (Broadway, April 2008)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-IT

GYPSY (Broadway, May 2003)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-pR

HAIRSPRAY (Broadway, August 2002)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-pV

HAND TO GOD (Broadway, July 2015)
http://wp.me/pzvIo-cv

HANK WILLIAMS: LOST HIGHWAY (off-Broadway, December 2002)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-kV

HEDDA GABLER (Broadway, October 2001)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-pZ

HEDWIG AND THE ANGRY INCH (off-Broadway, January 1999)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-kZ

HENRY IV (Broadway, December 2003)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-q4

HIGH DIVE (off-Broadway, February 2001)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-l3

HIGH FIDELITY (Broadway, December 2006)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-oj

HOLLYWOOD ARMS (Broadway, November 2001)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-qc

HOMECOMING (off-Broadway, January 2002)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-lb

HOW TO SUCCEED IN BUSINESS… (Broadway, January 2006)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-qg

HOWARD KATZ (off-Broadway, March 2007)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-ow

I AM MY OWN WIFE (Broadway, December 2003)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-ms

I LOVE YOU, YOU’RE PERFECT, NOW CHANGE (off-Broadway, August 1996)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-kR

I’M NOT RAPPAPORT (Broadway, August 2002)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-mA

IF YOU EVER LEAVE ME, I’M GOING WITH YOU (Broadway, September 2001)
http://wp.me/pzvIo-cI

IMAGINARY FRIENDS (Broadway, January 2003)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-mE

INTO THE WOODS (Broadway, May 2002)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-mL

THE INVENTION OF LOVE (Broadway, April 2001)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-mP

IT AIN’T NOTHIN’ BUT THE BLUES (Broadway, June 1999)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-mT

IT’S ONLY A PLAY (Broadway, Dec. 2015)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-A6

JACKIE MASON: LAUGHING ROOM ONLY (Broadway, December 2003)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-mX

JACKIE MASON: PRUNE DANISH (Broadway, October 2002)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-n1

JEKYLL & HYDE (Broadway, April 2013)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-hu

JEKYLL & HYDE (Broadway, May 1997)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-n5

JOE EGG (Broadway, April 2003)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-rT

JUDGMENT AT NUREMBERG (Broadway, March 2001)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-nd

KAT AND THE KINGS (Broadway, September 1999)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-nh

KING HEDLEY II (Broadway, May 2001)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-nl

THE KINSEY SICKS: DRAGAPELLA! (off-Broadway, November 2001)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-sB

KISS ME, KATE (Broadway, September 2001)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-np

LA BOHEME (Broadway, December 2002)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-nF

LAUGHING ROOM ONLY [Jackie Mason] (Broadway, December 2003)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-mX

LES MISERABLES (Broadway, 1997)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-nJ

LIFE SUCKS (off-Broadway, April 2019)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-Fj

LIFE (x) 3 (Broadway, April 2003)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-nN

THE LION KING (Broadway, November 1997)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-nR

LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS (Broadway, October 2003)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-nV

LONG DAY’S JOURNEY INTO NIGHT (Broadway, May 2003)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-nZ

THE LOOK OF LOVE (Broadway, May 2003)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-o3

THE LOWER DEPTHS (off-off-Broadway, April 1990
https://wp.me/pzvIo-JZ

LYDIA (Los Angeles, CA, April 2009)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-kD

MA RAINEY’S BLACK BOTTOM (Broadway, March 2003)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-oL

MAJOR BARBARA (Broadway, July 2001)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-oP

THE MADRAS HOUSE (February 2007)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-os

MAMMA MIA! (Broadway, October 2001)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-oT

MAN OF LA MANCHA (Broadway, December 2002)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-oY

THE MAN WHO HAD ALL THE LUCK (Broadway, May 2002)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-p2

MASTER CLASS (Broadway, November 1995)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-p6

MAURITIUS (Pasadena, CA, April 2009)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-kJ

MEDEA (Broadway, December 2002)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-pa

THE MERCHANT OF VENICE (Broadway, January 1990)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-JT

METAMORPHOSES (Broadway, March 2002)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-pe

MISS SAIGON (Broadway, 1994)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-pi

MOLLY SWEENEY (off-Broadway, Nov. 2019)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-I7

MORNING’S AT SEVEN (Broadway, April 2001)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-pm

MOVIN’ OUT (Broadway, November 2002)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-pq

THE MYSTERY OF CHARLES DICKENS (Broadway, April 2002)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-pt

NEVER GONNA DANCE (Broadway, December 2003)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-i1

THE NEW FACES OF AMERICA (Greeley, CO, Nov. 2009)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-yM

THE NIGHT OF THE IGUANA (Broadway, April 1996)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-ES

NINE (Broadway, April 2003)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-i6

NOISES OFF (Broadway, November 2001)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-ic

NUDE NUDE TOTALLY NUDE (Andrea Martin) (off-Broadway, April 1996)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-EM

OKLAHOMA! (Broadway, April 2002)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-ij

OLD HATS (off-Broadway, April 2013)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-hH

ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO’S NEST (Broadway, April 2001)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-in

ONE MO’ TIME (Broadway, March 2002)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-is

THE GLASS MENAGERIE (Broadway, Dec. 2013)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-B7

THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA (Broadway, September 1994)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-ix

THE PLAY THAT GOES WRONG (Broadway, July 2017)
http://wp.me/pzvIo-9X

THE PLAY WHAT I WROTE (Broadway, April 2003)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-iC

POPCORN FALLS (off-Broadway, October 2018)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-uX

PRIVATE LIVES (Broadway, May 2002)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-iH

THE PRODUCERS (Broadway, April 2002)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-iL

PUMPGIRLS (off-Broadway, Dec. 2007)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-ui

QED (Broadway, November 2001)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-iP

RAGTIME (Broadway, January 1998)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-iT

RENT (Broadway, May 1996)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-iX

REQUIEM FOR A HEAVYWEIGHT (off-Broadway, Feb. 1996)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-EP

THE RETREAT FROM MOSCOW (Broadway, October 2003)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-j1

RODGERS + HAMMERSTEIN’S CINDERELLA (Broadway, April 2013)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-hD

SACRILEGE (Broadway, Nov. 1998)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-EY

SALOME (Broadway, May 2003)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-j5

SAY GOODNIGHT GRACIE (Broadway, October 2002)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-j9

SEXAHOLIX (Broadway, November 2001)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-jd

SIDE MAN (John Golden, January 1999)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-jh

THE SLOW DRAG (off-Broadway, April 1996)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-EV

THE SMELL OF THE KILL (Broadway, March 2002)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-jl

SMOKEY JOE’S CAFE (Broadway, March 1995)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-jp

SOCRATES (off-Broadway, May 2019)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-Ga

STONES IN HIS POCKETS (Broadway, April 2001)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-jt

STUFF HAPPENS (off-Broadway, April 2006)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-od

THE SWEET SMELL OF SUCCESS (Broadway, March 2002)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-jx

TABOO (Broadway, December 2003)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-jB

TAKE ME OUT (Broadway, March 2003)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-jF

TARTUFFE (Broadway, January 2003)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-jJ

TARZAN (Broadway, May 2006)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-ok

THAT PHYSICS SHOW (off-Broadway, July 2016)
http://wp.me/pzvIo-bJ

THE TIMES THEY ARE A-CHANGIN’ (Broadway, October 2003)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-o8

THOROUGHLY MODERN MILLIE (Broadway, April 2002)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-jN

THOU SHALT NOT (Broadway, October 2001)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-jS

A THOUSAND CLOWNS (Broadway, July 2001)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-jX

TOM SAWYER [The Adventures of] (Broadway, May 2001)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-ll

URBAN COWBOY (Broadway, March 2003)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-k2

URINETOWN (Broadway, October 2001)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-k6

VANYA AND SONIA AND MASHA AND SPIKE (Broadway, April 2013)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-hr

VICTORY BEGINS AT HOME [Bill Maher] (Broadway, July 2003)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-mc

VINCENT IN BRIXTON (Broadway, March 2003)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-ka

VOICES IN THE DARK (Broadway, August 1999)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-kf

THE WEIR (Broadway, April 1999)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-kj

WICKED (Broadway, December 2003)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-kn

THE WOMEN (Broadway, November 2001)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-kr

WONDERFUL TOWN (Broadway, December 2003)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-kv

A YEAR WITH FROG AND TOAD (Broadway, April 2003)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-kz

ZELDA AT THE OASIS (off-Broadway, January 2013)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-hV

INDEX: Theater Reviews: https://wp.me/pzvIo-an

FEATURE STORIES

written by David Lefkowitz

Dec. 2019: Annie Potts: Design for Living – Sheldon’s Meemaw on Learning to Walk . . . and Stand Up
(A chat with actress Annie Potts)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-Iu

Sept. 2019: Katey Sagal: Marriage, Children, and Muscling Through
(A chat with actress Katey Sagal)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-GE

June 2019: Chaka Khan: A Journey from Something Good to Happiness
(A chat with musician Chaka Khan)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-GU

May 2019: Sela Vie – Sela Ward Stays in Sync
(A chat with actress Sela Ward)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-ys

March 2019: Bo Derek – Jump Before You’re Thrown . . .
(A chat with actress Bo Derek)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-GZ

Jan. 2019: One in Seven – Kathleen Madigan
(A chat with comedian Kathleen Madigan)
First published in Long Island Woman magazine, Jan. 2019.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-Dm

December 2018: Bad Stuff, Too: Ali Wentworth’s (Mostly) Charmed Life
(A chat with actress and writer Ali Wentworth)
First published in Long Island Woman, magazine, Dec. 2018.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-wJ

November 2018: In Bloom: Marcia Gay Harden Writes a Memoir for her Mother
(A chat with actress Marcia Gay Harden about her autobiography)
First published in Long Island Woman magazine, Nov. 2018.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-vj

July 2018: Riding the Waves: Christine Lahti on the Feminist Path
(A chat with actress Christine Lahti about her autobiography)
First published in Long Island Woman magazine, July 2018.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-ve

July 2018: Pushing the Boundaries of Long Island Theater: Comfort Zones Realigned
(A chat with the founders of Long Island’s Out of Bounds Theater Company)
First published in Long Island Pulse magazine, July 2018.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-vt

June 2018: Miller, Monroe & Kazan at Bay Street Theater
(A chat with playwright Jack Canfora about his bio-drama, Fellow Travelers)
First published in Long Island Pulse, NY, June 2018.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-hh

May 2018: Pride and Joy: Entrepreneur Joy Mangano Celebrates New Book and Old Values
(A chat with home-shopping magnate Joy Mangano)
First published in Long Island Woman, NY, May 2018.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-vL

May 2018: Discover the Argyle Theater in Babylon Village (aka “It Takes a Village”)
(A big, brand-new theater is about to open on Long Island)
First published in Long Island Pulse, NY, April 2018.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-hk

March 2018: Feeling the Love Power: Ronnie Spector on Memories, Men, and Music
(A chat with rock-n-roll songstress and spousal abuse survivor Ronnie Spector)
First published in Long Island Woman, NY, March 2018.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-vQ

March 2018: Go Big or Go Bigger: Broadway’s Goes Mega in Spring 2018
(A spring-season Broadway preview)
First published in Long Island Pulse magazine, March 2018.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-vw

Jan. 2018: Still Breathing: Toni Braxton on Love, Marriage, Divorce, Sex, & Cigarettes
(A chat with singer and reality TV star Toni Braxton)
First published in Long Island Woman magazine, Jan. 2018
https://wp.me/pzvIo-vT

Dec. 2017: Conversation with a Kick-Starter: Lindsay Howe on a Rockette’s Life
(An interview with Radio City Rockette Lindsay Howe)
First published in Long Island Pulse magazine, Dec. 2017
https://wp.me/pzvIo-w1

Nov. 2017: Ping Pong, Pop Tarts, and Pineapples – Comedian Paula Poundstone on the Rewards of Moving Forward
(An interview with comedian Paula Poundstone)
First published in Long Island Woman, NY, Nov. 2017.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-eV

Oct. 2017: Taking her Time: A Chat with Tony-Winning Director Rebecca Taichman
(A chat with Broadway director Rebecca Taichman)
First published in Long Island Pulse magazine, NY, Oct. 2017
https://wp.me/pzvIo-w9

Oct. 2017: It’s a Wonder-ful Life: Lynda Carter on Music, Money and That Role
(An interview with actress, model, and the original “Wonder Woman,” Lynda Carter)
First published in Long Island Woman, NY, Oct. 2017.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-eR

Sept. 2017: Psyched: Cheryl Hines on Acting, Reacting, and the Kennedy Blessing
(An interview with Curb Your Enthusiasm actress Cheryl Hines)
First published in Long Island Woman, NY.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-eY

Sept. 2017: A Band, A Butterfly, and a Bob – Broadway Greets the Autumn
(A preview of Broadway’s fall 2017 season)
First published in Long Island Pulse, NY.
http://wp.me/pzvIo-bE

Aug. 2017: Rebounder: Mackenzie Phillips on Wellness, Loss, and Love
(An interview with “One Day at a Time” star and recovery expert, Mackenzie Phillips)
First published in Long Island Woman magazine, NY, Aug. 2017.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-w4

July 2017: Sometimes a Grain of Sand – Olivia Newton-John Reflects on Glory and Grief
(An interview with pop songstress and actress Olivia Newton John)
First published in Long Island Woman, NY.
http://wp.me/pzvIo-aK

July 2017: Wrong Turn: When Nothing Goes Right
(Theater review of Broadway’s The Play that Goes Wrong)
First published in Long Island Pulse magazine, NY, July 2017.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-9X

May 2017: Karen Allen and the World of Yes
(An interview with “Raiders” actress Karen Allen about her latest film project, “A Year by the Sea”)
First published in Long Island Woman, NY, May 2017
http://wp.me/pzvIo-aP

May 2017: Moonlighting: In Bloom – Christopher Hackert Gets his Theatrical Wish
(A profile of longtime Long Island florist–and playwright–Christopher Hackert)
First published in Long Island Pulse, NY.
http://wp.me/pzvIo-bk

April 2017: The Ceiling’s the Limit: Jules Feiffer Collaborates on a New Musical
(An interview with Pulitzer-winning cartoonist Jules Feiffer about his work on The Man in the Ceiling, a musical premiering at Long Island’s Bay Street Theater)
First published in Long Island Pulse, NY.
http://wp.me/pzvIo-a8

April 2017: To the Oval Office from the Bunion Derby: Allison Janney’s Slow Rise to Stardom
(An interview with “West Wing” and theater actress Allison Janney
First published in Long Island Woman, NY, April 2007.
http://wp.me/pzvIo-aV

March 2017: Spring on Broadway – Old Friends and Oddballs
(A preview of Broadway’s sprawling spring 2017 season)
First published in Long Island Pulse, NY.
http://wp.me/pzvIo-ba

March 2017: Valerie Bertinelli – Taking Life one Dish at a Time
(An interview with “One Day at a Time” and cooking-show star, Valerie Bertinelli)
First published in Long Island Woman, NY.
http://wp.me/pzvIo-b0

Jan. 2017: Serving Love – Billie Jean King Still Winning for All of Us
(An interview with tennis legend and activist, Billie Jean King)
First published in Long Island Woman, NY.
http://wp.me/pzvIo-b5

December 2016: When Success is the Option – Jillian Michaels
(An interview with exercise guru Jillian Michaels)
First published Dec. 2016 in Long Island Woman, NY.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-yP

Dec. 2016: Kelli O’Hara on Living the Theater Life
(An interview with Tony-winning actress Kelli O’Hara)
First published in Long Island Pulse, NY.
http://wp.me/pzvIo-bq

Nov. 2016: L.I.’s Lantern Still Burns Bright
(A look at Long Island’s 64-year-old Lanter Theater Company)
First published in Long Island Pulse, NY.
http://wp.me/pzvIo-bu

Oct. 2016: Life Beyond Hamilton – Broadway’s Fall Shows Open on Their Own Terms
(A preview of Broadway’s fall 2016 season)
First published in Long Island Pulse, NY.
http://wp.me/pzvIo-by

Sept. 2016: The Show Goes On: Theater Three Starts a New Season without an Old Friend
(Jeffrey Sanzel, artistic director of Long Island’s Theater Three, reflects on the new season and the passing of longtime musical director Ellen Michelmore)
First published in Long Island Pulse, NY.
http://wp.me/pzvIo-bG

May 2016: Aria Grande – Playwright Jonathan Tolins and his Fandom of the Opera
(Playwright Jonathan Tolins discusses his latest, A Forgotten Woman, premiering at Long Island’s Bay Street Theater)
First published in Long Island Pulse, NY.
http://wp.me/pzvIo-bM

May 2016: Sprinkled Cupcakes and Tofu Turkeys – Patricia Heaton
(A chat with actress Patricia Heaton)
First published May 2016 in Long Island Woman, NY.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-yS

April 2016: Springtime in New York – Where Broadway is Blooming
(A preview of Broadway’s spring 2016 season)
First published April 2016 in Long Island Pulse, NY.
http://wp.me/pzvIo-bP

March 2016: A Chance to Shine: Syosset Dons a Shiny New CAP
(A chat with Bruce Grossman, artistic director of Syosset, Long Island’s Cultural Arts Playhouse)
First published in Long Island Pulse, NY.
http://wp.me/pzvIo-bU

March 2016: A Club of One – Our Good Friend, Kathy Griffin
(A chat with comedian Kathy Griffin)
First published March 2016 in Long Island Woman, NY.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-zf

Feb. 2016: Women on the Verge – Daughters Arrives at the Merrick Theater
(A preview of Daughters, John Morgan Evans’s comedy-drama at Long Island’s Merrick Theater)
First published in Long Island Pulse, NY.
http://wp.me/pzvIo-bX

Jan. 2016: Lori Loughlin: House Proud
(A chat with actress Lori Loughlin)
First published Jan. 2016 in Long Island Woman magazine, NY
https://wp.me/pzvIo-x7

Dec. 2015: The Game’s Afoot
(As part of my monthly theater column, a review of Broadway’s The Gin Game revival)
First published Dec. 2015 in Long Island Pulse, NY
https://wp.me/pzvIo-c3

Dec. 2015: No Second Takes: Laurie Metcalf
(A profile of actress Laurie Metcalf)
First published Dec. 2015 in Long Island Woman
https://wp.me/pzvIo-za

Nov. 2015: The Tin Man Writes a Play Full of Heart
(A profile of playwright Sean Grennan on the eve of his drama, The Tin Woman, opening at Long Island Bay Street Theater)
First published in Long Island Pulse, NY.
http://wp.me/pzvIo-cc

Oct. 2015: She was My Mother – Melissa Rivers
(An interview with TV personality Melissa Rivers)
First published Oct. 2015 in Long Island Woman, NY.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-zq

Oct. 2015: Lemmon’s Pledge
(An interview with actor-singer Chris Lemmon, son of legendary actor Jack Lemmon)
First published in Long Island Pulse, NY.
http://wp.me/pzvIo-cl

Oct. 2015: Theatrical Island Hoppers
(A look at famous theater people born and/or raised on Long Island, including Alec Baldwin, Charles Ludlam, Patti LuPone, Adam Pascal, Idina Menzel, and Edie Falco)
First published on LongIslandPulse.com, NY.
http://wp.me/pzvIo-cf

Sept. 2015: Fall Approaches Quietly
(A preview of the fall 2015 Broadway season)
First published in Long Island Pulse, NY.
http://wp.me/pzvIo-cp

Sept. 2015: Jane Lynch – Still Gleeful
(A chat with actress Jane Lynch)
First published Sept. 2015 in Long Island Woman, NY
https://wp.me/pzvIo-zu

July 2015: With Comedy Comes Responsibility
(As part of my monthly theater column, reviews of the Broadway comedies Hand to God and Fish in the Dark)
First published July 2015 in Long Island Pulse, NY.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-cv

June 2015: Sincerely Yours, Bay Street Theater
(Featuring interviews with playwright Alena Smith and director Bob Balaban, a preview of the comedy, The New Sincerity before its opening at Long Island’s Bay Street Theater)
First published in Long Island Pulse, NY.
http://wp.me/pzvIo-cB

April 2015: Vanessa Williams – Inspired
(A chat with actress Vanessa Williams)
First published April 2015 in Long Island Woman, NY.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-zO

April 2015: Bones About It
(A chat with Bare Bones Theater artistic director Jeff Bennett about The Motherfucker with the Hat)
First published April 2015 in Long Island Pulse, NY.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-z6

March 2015: Signs of Intelligent Life – Lily Tomlin
(A chat with actress Lily Tomlin)
First published March 2015 in Long Island Woman, NY.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-ak

Feb. 2015: Annie Lennox: Making Brand – New Nostalgia
(A chat with Eurythmics musician Annie Lennox)
First published Feb. 2015 in Long Island Woman, NY.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-zT

Jan. 2015: From Here to the Moon – Dolly Parton
(Based on a press Q&A, a profile of musician Dolly Parton)
First published Jan. 2015 in Long Island Woman, NY.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-Ab

Jan. 2015: Disgraced: A Broadway Dinner Party
(A review of the Broadway drama Disgraced for my monthly theater column)
First published Jan. 2015 in Long Island Pulse, NY.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-z0

Dec. 2015: Play Time: Lane and Broderick Reunite on Broadway
(For my monthly theater column, a review of Broadway’s It’s Only a Play)
First published Winter 2014 in Long Island Pulse, NY.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-A6

Nov. 2014: Never Say Never – Joely Richardson Goes Solo
(A chat with actress Joely Richardson)
First published Nov. 2014 in Long Island Woman, NY.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-An

Nov. 2014: Hamlet in East Hampton
(Morgan Vaughan directs her husband Tristan in an East Hampton Hamlet)
First published Nov. 2014 in Long Island Pulse, NY.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-zF

Oct. 2014: So Much to See, So Few Leaves
(A preview of the fall 2014 Broadway season)
First published Oct. 2014 in Long Island Pulse, NY.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-A0

Sept. 2014: Madonna & Madness – J. Stephen Brantley
(A chat with J. Stephen Brantley about his Madonna-based solo show)
First published Sept. 2014 in Long Island Pulse, NY.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-Az

July 2014: 2014 Summer Stage Preview
(Long Island theater offerings in summer 2014)
First published July 2014 in Long Island Pulse, NY.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-AN <P.

June 2014: You Scratch My Back – All the Way
(A review of Broadway’s All the Way and sidebar about movie stars doing shows)
First published June 2014 in Long Island Pulse, NY.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-AE

May 2014: A New Leader and a New Season – Bay Street Moves Forward
(Bay Street Theater’s new artistic director, Scott Schwartz, and new season)
First published May 2014 in Long Island Pulse, NY.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-At

April 2014: Ben Vereen – Another Way to Move
(A chat with actor Ben Vereen)
First published April 2014 in Long Island Pulse, NY.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-AR

March 2014: August: Osage County in Southampton
(A chat with director Michael Benton Disher about staging August: Osage County at Southampton Cultural Center)
First published March 2014 in Long Island Pulse, NY.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-AW

March 2014: Queen for a Daytime: Queen Latifah
(A chat with actress and musician Queen Latifah)
First published March 2014 in Long Island Woman, NY.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-Bl

Feb. 2014: Nothing Tastes as Good as I Feel (Robin Quivers)
A chat with “Howard Stern Show” radio co-host Robin Quivers)
First published Feb. 2014 in Long Island Woman, NY.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-Bq

Feb. 2014: The Bard is Back
(After a drought, Shakespeare plays return to NYC stages)
First published Feb. 2014 in Long Island Pulse, NY.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-B2

Dec. 2013: Through a Glass, Tenderly
(A review of The Glass Menagerie on Broadway as part of my monthly Broadway column)
First published Dec. 2013 in Long Island Pulse, NY.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-B7

Dec. 2013: Dionne Warwick – “Now” and Then
(A chat with songstress Dionne Warwick)
First published Dec. 2013 in Long Island Woman, NY.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-BJ

Nov. 2013: Old is New – A November to Remember
(A fall 2013 Broadway preview)
First published Nov. 2013 in Long Island Pulse, NY.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-BA

Nov. 2013: Cartwheeling with Andie MacDowell
(A chat with actress Andie MacDowell)
First published Nov. 2013 in Long Island Woman, NY.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-Bv

Oct. 2013: Wandaful World – Wanda Sykes
(A chat with comedian Wanda Sykes)
First published Oct. 2013 in Long Island Woman, NY.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-BE

June 2013: 10 Shows in Search of an Audience
(Summer theater highlights on Long Island)
First published June 2013 in Long Island Pulse, NY.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-Bc

May 2013: Perl Vision – HITFest Buzzing Over
(Profile of the Hamptons Independent Theater Festival and founder Joshua Perl)
First published May 2013 in Long Island Pulse, NY.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-Bg

March 2013: A Heart to Heart with Ann Wilson
(A chat with Heart musician Ann Wilson)
First published March 2013 in Long Island Woman, NY.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-Cn

Feb. 2013: Happily Drescher
(A chat with actress Fran Drescher)
First published Feb. 2013 in Long Island Woman, NY.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-Ct

Jan. 2013: Kristin Chenoweth – With Gratitude
(A chat with actress Kristin Chenoweth)
First published Jan. 2013 in Long Island Woman, NY.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-Cy

Nov. 2012: Laugh Along with Mitch
(Robert O’Neill of Long Island’s Studio Theater discusses Duck Hunter Shoots Angel)
First published Nov. 2012 in Long Island Pulse, NY.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-CD

Nov. 2012: Sherri Shepherd: A Bumpy Ride to a Perfect View
(A chat with TV personality Sherri Shepherd)
First published Nov. 2012 in Long Island Woman, NY.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-Ci

Oct. 2012: Jennifer Warnes – Where She Belongs
(A chat with musician Jennnifer Warnes)
First published Oct. 2012 in Long Island Woman, NY.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-CJ

Sept. 2012: Lisa Rinna Gets her Mojo Back Big Time
(A chat with television personality Lisa Rinna)
First published Sept. 2012 in Long Island Woman, NY.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-CR

June 2012: 2012 Summer Stage Preview
(A preview of summer shows at Long Island theaters)
First published June 2012 in Long Island Woman, NY.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-CW

May 2012: Death of a Salesman
(As part of my monthly theater column, a review of Broadway’s Death of a Salesman)
First published May 2012 in Long Island Pulse, NY.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-D0

May 2012: Linda Evans – Looking Inside
(A chat with actress Linda Evans)
First published May 2012 in Long Island Woman, NY.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-D5

April 2012: Rita Rudner – The Right Place at the Right Time
(A chat with comedienne Rita Rudner)
First published April 2012 in Long Island Woman, NY.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-Da

March 2012: Bebe Neuwirth – All Those Cheers
(A chat with actress Bebe Neuwirth)
First published March 2012 in Long Island Woman, NY.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-Dr

March 2012: Car Talk – Hampton Theater Company
(A chat with Hampton Theater Company artistic director Sarah Hunnewell)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-Dg

Feb. 2012: Winter on Broadway – From Venus to Mecca
(Some winter shows on Broadway)
First published Feb. 2012 in Long Island Pulse, NY.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-Dw

Nov. 2011: Dixie Invades Islip
(Islip Town Hall presents Dixie Swim Club)
First published Nov. 2011 in Long Island Pulse, NY.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-DB

Oct. 2011: Whoosh – Autumn on Broadway
(A look at Broadway’s fall season)
First published Oct. 2011 in Long Island Pulse, NY.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-DP

Sept. 2011: Wendie Malick’s Hot Spots
(A chat with actress Wendie Malick)
First published Sept. 2011 in Long Island Woman, NY.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-DS

Sept. 2011: Sky Writing – Deja vu Dramatist Lanford Wilson
(Off-Broadway’s Keen Company revives Lemon Sky)
First published Sept. 2011 in Long Island Pulse, NY.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-DF

Aug. 2011: Meredith Baxter – Owning Up
(A chat with actress Meredith Baxter)
First published Aug. 2011 in Long Island Woman, NY.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-DX

Aug. 2011: Fringe Benefits
(A look at funny entires in the New York International Fringe Festival)
First published Aug. 2011 in Long Island Pulse, NY.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-DF

June 2011: Quick Thoughts on the 2011 Tony Awards Show
(Penned quickly after the live Tony broadcast, a look at highlights and low)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-uS

May 2011: Shirley MacLane – Over But Not Out
(A chat with actress Shirley MacLaine)
First published May 2011 in Long Island Woman, NY.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-E5

May 2011: Darrell Hammond’s Aim is Tru
(A chat with actor Darrell Hammond about playing Truman Capote)
First published May 2011 in Long Island Pulse, NY.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-DK

April 2011: Standing Pat – Pat Cooper
(A chat with comedian Pat Cooper)
First published April 2011 in Long Island Pulse, NY.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-E2

March 2011: Medium Rare But Well Done
(Arena Players stages Dale Griffiths Stamos’s One White Crow)
First published March 2011 in Long Island Pulse, NY.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-Ea

Feb. 2011: The Laramie Project
(Adelphi University stages The Laramie Project)
First published Feb. 2011 in Long Island Pulse, NY.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-Ce

Dec. 2010: Mighty Meta
(A look at Broadway shows that self-comment)
First published Dec. 2010 in Long Island Pulse, NY.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-C7

Nov. 2010: A November to Remember
(A fall Broadway preview)
First published Nov. 2010 in Long Island Pulse, NY.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-C4

Sept. 2010: Lucie Arnaz – On Mom, Dad, and the Muse
(A chat with actress Lucie Arnaz)
First published Sept. 2010 in Long Island Woman, NY.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-Eg

Aug. 2010: Wonder of Wonders
(A chat with Rabbi Sol Solomon about his synagogue’s theatrical endeavors)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-yk

July 2010: Broadway: Where Men are Men…Sort Of
(A look at various shows, Broadway and Off, treating aspects of masculinity)
First published July 2010 in Long Island Pulse, NY.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-C0

June 2010: Jackie Oh! An Interview with Jackie Collins
(A chat with novelist Jackie Collins)
First published June 2010 in Long Island Woman, NY.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-BO

June 2010: Cognitive Dissonance (Damian Lanigan)
(A preview of Damian Lanigan’s Dissonance at L.I.’s Bay Street Theater)
First published June 2010 in Long Island Pulse.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-BV

May 2010: Joy Behar: On Innocence…
(A chat with comedienne and talk-show Joy Behar)
First published May 2010 in Long Island Woman, NY.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-xV

May 2010: Studio Theater
(A profile of Bob O’Neill, new proprietor of Long Island’s Studio Theater)
First published May 2010 in Long Island Pulse, NY.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-ye

April 2010: The Spring Onslaught
(An overview of Broadway shows opening in the spring)
First published April 2010 in Long Island Pulse, NY.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-yy

March 2010: From Ashes to Paradise
(Headed by Frederick DeFeis, L.I.’s Arena Players stages the drama, Paradise Key
First published March 2010 in Long Island Pulse, NY.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-yC

Feb. 2010: Road to Ruin
(The top 15 ways to continue ruining Broadway)
First published Feb. 2010 in Long Island Pulse, NY.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-yJ

Dec. 2009: Battle of the Sexes (On and Off Broadway)
(Various plays and musicals of the late-fall Broadway/Off season, with a concentration on male/female conflicts)
First published in the Dec. 2009-Jan. 2010 issue of Long Island Pulse magazine, NY
https://wp.me/pzvIo-wi

Nov. 2009: Lorraine Bracco on Life as a Post-Doc
(An interview with “Goodfellas” actress Lorraine Bracco)
First published in Long Island Woman, NY.
http://wp.me/pzvIo-2p

Nov. 2009: Golden & Shining: November is Far from Theater’s Twilight
(A preview of NYC shows opening in November 1999, plus some current NYC picks)
First published in Long Island Pulse magazine, Nov. 1999.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-wm

Oct. 2009: Carrie Fisher – She Moves On
(An interview with “Star Wars” actress Carrie Fisher)
First published in Long Island Woman, NY.
http://wp.me/pzvIo-2D

Oct. 2009: Broadway Oktoberfeast
(A preview of the 2009 Fall Broadway season)
First published Oct. 2009 in Long Island Pulse, NY.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-yG

Sept. 2009: Comedies Tonight
(A look at comedies playing in Long Island theaters)
First published Sept. 2009 in Long Island Pulse, NY
https://wp.me/pzvIo-yp

Sept. 2009: Call Her Anna – Patty Duke
(An interview with “Miracle Worker” actress Patty Duke)
First published in Long Island Woman, NY.
http://wp.me/pzvIo-2x

Aug. 2009: Now, About These Women – Airmid Theater Company
(A chat with Tricia McDermott, artistic director of Long Island’s Airmid Theater Company)
First published in Long Island Pulse magazine, NY, Aug. 2009
https://wp.me/pzvIo-wg

July 2009: Hot Flashes: Menopause the Musical Comes to Port Washington
(A chat with Menopause author Jeanie Linders)
First published in Long Island Pulse magazine, NY, July 2009
https://wp.me/pzvIo-wp

June 2009: 2009 Summer Stage Preview
(An overview of Long Island summer theater offerings))
First published in Long Island Pulse magazine, NY, June 2009
https://wp.me/pzvIo-wz

May 2009: Women of Manhattan
(Director Jere Jacobs discusses John Patrick Shanley’s play, Women of Manhattan, at Northeast Stage)
First published in Long Island Pulse magazine, NY, May 2009
https://wp.me/pzvIo-wu

May 2009: Two Rivers Run Through It: Joan & Melissa Rivers on The Truth, The Past, and the Plastic
(A chat with comedian Joan Rivers and her actress daughter, Melissa Rivers)
First published in Long Island Woman magazine, May 2009
https://wp.me/pzvIo-wQ

April 2009: Facing Off Without a Net
(The Long Island Improv troupe Friday Night Face Off, plus a sidebar of NYC picks)
First published in Long Island Pulse magazine, NY, April 2009
https://wp.me/pzvIo-wE

March 2009: Too Jewish? No Such Thing
(A chat with Too Jewish actor and creator Avi Hoffman)
First published in Long Island Pulse magazine, NY, March 2009
https://wp.me/pzvIo-x3

Feb. 2009: Cashing In
(Theater Three’s Jeffrey Sanzel helps preview the Johnny Cash revue Ring of Fire)
First published in Long Island Pulse magazine, NY, Feb. 2009
https://wp.me/pzvIo-xc

Dec. 2008: Christmas Cometh
(A look at all the Christmas Carols playing on Long Island that season)
First published in the Dec. 2008-Jan. 2009 issue of Long Island Pulse magazine, NY.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-xk

Dec. 2008: Curb Your Ensusiessman: The Comedian Speaks Out on Being Fair – and Foul
(An interview with “Curb Your Enthusiasm” comic actress, Susie Essman)
First published in Long Island Woman, NY.
http://wp.me/pzvIo-2A

Nov. 2008: Hey, Ricky!
(A chat with Greg Purnhagen about his Desi Arnaz tribute show, Babalu-cy!)
First published in Long Island Woman, NY, Nov. 2008
https://wp.me/pzvIo-xg

Oct. 2008: Diahann Carroll Looks Back – and Forward
(An interview with Tony-winning actress Diahann Carroll)
First published in Long Island Woman, NY.
http://wp.me/pzvIo-2r

Oct. 2008: Chiller Theater
(A look at Hallowen-appropriate theater offerings on Long Island)
First published Oct. 2008 in Long Island Pulse, NY.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-xr

Sept. 2008: Multiple Choices
(A look at September’s varied theater offerings on Long Island)
First published Sept. 2008 in Long Island Pulse, NY.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-xv

Aug. 2008: Chew on This
(Cannibal the Musical comes to Long Island!)
First published Aug. 2008 in Long Island Pulse, NY.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-xy

July 2008: Beyond Therapy
(A preview of Bay Street Theater’s revival of Christopher Durang’s Beyond Therapy)
First published July 2008 in Long Island Pulse, NY.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-xE

June 2008: Summer Stage Preview (2008)
(A look at summertime offerings at Long Island’s theaters)
First published June 2008 in Long Island Pulse, NY.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-xG

May 2008: BroadHollow Brings Maine to Long Island
(Preview piece about L.I.’s BroadHollow Theater staging Almost, Maine)
First published May 2008 in Long Island Pulse, NY.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-xG

April 2007: Here to Stay
(Michael Sgouros’s plans to revive off-Broadway’s Players Theater)
First published April 2007 in Stage Directions magazine.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-xL

March 2007: Katz Prowls at the Pels
(A preview piece about the off-Broadway comedy, Howard Katz)
First published in TheaterSceneOnline.com.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-oC

June 2006: Tony Preview: With no Big Heavyweight, Counterpunchers…
(Previews and predictions for the 2006 Tony Awards)
First published June 2006 in The Improper.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-y2

May 2006: With Theater Awards Looming, Broadway Puts Best Foot Forward
(A look at a flurry of shows opening to end the 2005-06 Broadway season)
First published May 2006 in The Improper.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-y5

April 2006: Greenberg’s Rain Pieces Together Tangled Childhood Relationship
(A preview of the Three Days of Rain revival on Broadway)
First published April 2006 in The Improper.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-ya

Jan. 2002: The Fantasticks Bids Farewell, Jan. 13, After 42 Years…
(New York’s longest-running musical leaves the Sullivan Street Playhouse)
First published in Playbill.com.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-qo

Jan. 2002: Weedman’s OB Homecoming Starts at ArcLight Jan. 17
(The off-Broadway return of Lauren Weedman’s solo, Homecoming)
First published in Playbill.com, Jan. 2002.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-lf

Feb. 2001: Brief Encounter with Leslie Ayvazian
(An interview with off-Broadway playwright Leslie Ayvazian)
First published in Playbill.com.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-l7

Dec. 1999: The Season On and Off Broadway (1998-1999)
(Essay covering the New York theater season)
Commissioned and published as the introductory essay for “Theater Yearbook: The Best Plays of 1998-1999,” Limelight Editions, 1999.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-Gr

Dec. 1998: The Season On and Off Broadway (1997-1998)
(Essay covering the New York theater season)
Commissioned and published as the introductory essay for “Theater Yearbook: The Best Plays of 1997-1998,” Limelight Editions, 1998.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-JD

Dec. 1997: The Season On and Off Broadway (1998-1999)
(Essay covering the New York theater season)
Commissioned and published as the introductory essay for “Theater Yearbook: The Best Plays of 1996-1997,” Limelight Editions, 1997.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-Gl

May 1997: Uhry, Bricusse & Others Discuss Evolution of Shows on the Road
(Coverage of a panel by the American Theater Critics Association)
First published May 1997 in Playbill.com, reprinted in Critics Quarterly.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-Ev

Oct. 1996: Andrea Martin’s Nude Gets West Coast Premiere
(A news item about Andrea Martin’s solo show coming to California)
First published in Playbill.com, Oct. 14, 1996.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-ti

Sept. 1996: David Lefkowitz Joins Playbill On-Line Staff
(A short autobiography for my first day on the job)
First published in Playbill.com, Sept. 16, 1996.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-tv

Aug. 1996. The View from Sibiu
(Coverage of the third annual International Theater Festival in Sibiu, Romania)
First published in the American Theater Critics Association’s Critics Quarterly, summer 2016.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-JN

Jan. 1995: Flanders’ Field: An Interview with Actress and Musician Julie Flanders
(A profile of October Project songwriter Julie Flanders)
First published in NYC’s Resident newspaper, reprinted in This Month ON STAGE magazine.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-II

Aug. 1994: The Best in the Business are Working Off Broadway
(A season preview of off-Broadway shows)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-Jl

March 1991: Desperate Measures for Desperate Times: Broadway Forms a New Alliance
In-depth look at The Broadway Alliance’s attempt to revive Broadway business
https://wp.me/pzvIo-Jq

Feb. 1990: Thanks for Reminding Us: We Must Remember This?
(Review of a video series that overviews important news stories covered on ABC-TV)</eM
https://wp.me/pzvIo-Jd

Jan. 1990: Off (West) Broadway in Tribeca
Overview of off-off-Broadway theaters in Tribeca, NYC
https://wp.me/pzvIo-Jh

May 1989: The Secret of Joe Franklin
(A profile of radio/TV nostalgia king, Joe Franklin)
First published in Fast Lane magazine.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-J7

Feb. 1977: All About PCC
(A profile of Woodmere, NY’s Peninsula Counseling Center)
First published in: The South Chronicle, Woodmere Junior High School South, Woodmere, NY.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-h8

Feb. 1977: Mrs. Kolb’s Corner
(An interview with Barbara Kolb, principal of Junior High School South, Hewlett, NY)
First published in: The South Chronicle, Woodmere Junior High School South, Woodmere, NY.
https://wp.me/pzvIo-h4

INDEX TO NON-FICTION/ESSAYS

by David Lefkowitz

Serious:

Review: Imagine
(Album review of John Lennon’s Imagine)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-Hz
(first published in The Literary Underground, Dec. 1980)

The Season on and Off Broadway (1998-1999)
(Overview of the New York theater season)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-Gr
(Published in Theater Yearbook: The Best Plays of 1998-1999, Limelight Editions, 1999)

The Season on and Off Broadway (1997-1998)
(Overview of the New York theater season)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-JD
(Published in Theater Yearbook: The Best Plays of 1997-1998, Limelight Editions, 1998)

The Season on and Off Broadway (1996-1997)
(Overview of the New York theater season)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-Gl
(Published in Theater Yearbook: The Best Plays of 1996-1997, Limelight Editions, 1997)

We Must Remember This?
(Overview of a video series about “The Greatest Television News Stories of All Time”)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-I0
(Published in Playboy magazine, Feb. 2009)

NOTE: Also see Theater Reviews and Feature Stories n separate sections

INDEX TO NON-FICTION/ESSAYS: https://wp.me/pzvIo-FO

FEATURE STORIES: INTERVIEWS & PROFILES

by David Lefkowitz

(This is a list of notables who were either interviewed, or served as profile subjects, in my writings. Hundreds more have appeared on my podcast, Dave’s Gone By. You can hear those archives at http://www.davesgoneby.com.)

KAREN ALLEN (actress, May 2017):
http://wp.me/pzvIo-aP

LUCIE ARNAZ (actress, Sept. 2010)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-Eg

LESLIE AYVAZIAN (playwright, Feb. 2001)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-l7

BOB BALABAN (actor-director, June 2015)
http://wp.me/pzvIo-cB

ANNE BASS (Lantern Theater executive producer, March 2017)
http://wp.me/pzvIo-bu

MEREDITH BAXTER, actress, Sept. 2011)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-DX

GLEN J. BECK (director, May 2008)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-xG

JOY BEHAR (comedian, May 2010)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-xV

JEFF BENNETT (artistic director, April 2015)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-z6

VALERIE BERTINELLI (actress, March 2017)
http://wp.me/pzvIo-b0

LORRAINE BRACCO (actress, Nov. 2009)
http://wp.me/pzvIo-2p

J. STEPHEN BRANTLEY (actor, Sept. 2014)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-Az

TONI BRAXTON (singer, Jan. 2018)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-vT

DIAHANN CARROLL (actress, Oct. 2008)
http://wp.me/pzvIo-2r

LYNDA CARTER (actress, Oct. 2017)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-eR

KRISTIN CHENOWETH (actress, Jan. 2013)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-Cy

JACKIE COLLINS (writer, June 2010)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-BO

PAT COOPER (comedian, April 2011)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-E2

FREDERICK DEFEIS (artistic director, March 2010)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-ai

BO DEREK (actress, March 2019)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-GZ

MICHAEL BENTON DISHER (director, March 2014)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-AW

FRAN DRESCHER (actress, Feb. 2013)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-Ct

PATTY DUKE (actress, Sept. 2009)
http://wp.me/pzvIo-2x

SUSIE ESSMAN (actress, Dec. 2008)
http://wp.me/pzvIo-2A

LINDA EVANS (actress, May 2012)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-D5

JULES FEIFFER (author-cartoonist, April 2017)
http://wp.me/pzvIo-a8

CARRIE FISHER (actress, Oct. 2009)
http://wp.me/pzvIo-2D

JULIE FLANDERS (actress & musician, Jan. 1995)

https://wp.me/pzvIo-II

JOE FRANKLIN (entertainer, May 1989)

https://wp.me/pzvIo-J7

TONY GEORGAN (Merrick Theater founder, Feb. 2016)
http://wp.me/pzvIo-bX

SEAN GRENNAN (playwright, Nov. 2015)
http://wp.me/pzvIo-cc

KATHY GRIFFIN (comedian, March 2016)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-zf

BRUCE GROSSMAN (Cultural Arts Playhouse producer, March 2016)
http://wp.me/pzvIo-bU

STEVE GUTTENBERG (actor, April 1991)

https://wp.me/pzvIo-Im

CHRISTOPHER HACKERT (playwright, May 2017)
http://wp.me/pzvIo-bk

DARRELL HAMMOND (actor, May 2011)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-DK

MARCIA GAY HARDEN (actress, Nov. 2018)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-vj

PATRICIA HEATON (actress, May 2016)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-yS

CHERYL HINES (actress, Sept. 2017)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-eY

AVI HOFFMAN (actor, March 2009
https://wp.me/pzvIo-x3

LINDSAY HOWE (dancer, Dec. 2017)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-w1

SARAH HUNNEWELL (artistic director, March 2012)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-Dg

JERE JACOB (director, May 2009)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-wu

ALLISON JANNEY (actress, April 2017)
http://wp.me/pzvIo-aV

BILLIE JEAN KING (athlete, Jan. 2017)
http://wp.me/pzvIo-b5

TARMO KIRSIMAE (director, Feb. 2016)
http://wp.me/pzvIo-bX

BARBARA KOLB (principal, Feb. 1977)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-h4

CHRISTINE LAHTI (actress, July 2018)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-ve

DAMIAN LANIGAN (playwright, June 2010)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-BV

CHRIS LEMMON (actor-singer, Oct. 2015)
http://wp.me/pzvIo-cl

ANNIE LENNOX (musician, Feb. 2015)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-zT

JEANIE LINDERS (playwright, July 2009)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-wp

LORI LOUGHLIN (actress, Jan. 2016)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-x7

JANE LYNCH (actress, Sept. 2015)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-zu

ANDIE MacDOWELL (actress, Nov. 2013)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-Bv

SHIRLEY MACLAINE (actress, May 2011)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-E5

KATHLEEN MADIGAN (comedian, Jan. 2019)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-Dm

WENDIE MALICK (actress, Sept. 2011)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-DS

JOY MANGANO (entrepreneur, May 2018)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-vL

TRICIA McDERMOTT (director, July 2009)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-wg

LAURIE METCALF (actress, Dec. 2015)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-za

JILLIAN MICHAELS (entrepreneur, Dec. 2010)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-yP

FRANCINE NEMEROFF (director, Aug. 2008)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-xy

BEBE NEUWIRTH (actress, March 2012)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-Dr

OLIVIA NEWTON-JOHN (actress-singer, July 2017)
http://wp.me/pzvIo-aK

KELLI O’HARA (actress, Dec. 2017)
http://wp.me/pzvIo-bq

ROBERT (BOB) O’NEILL (artistic director)
Nov. 2012: https://wp.me/pzvIo-CD
May 2010: https://wp.me/pzvIo-ye

DOLLY PARTON (musician, Jan. 2015)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-Ab

JOSHUA PERL (director, May 2013)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-Bg

MACKENZIE PHILLIPS (actress, Aug. 2017)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-w4

ANNIE POTTS (actress, Dec. 2019)

https://wp.me/pzvIo-Iu

PAULA POUNDSTONE (comedian, Nov. 2017)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-eV

GREG PURNHAGEN (actor, Nov. 2008)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-xg

QUEEN LATIFAH (musician, March 2014)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-Bl

ROBIN QUIVERS (radio personality, Feb. 2014)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-Bq

JOELY RICHARDSON (actress, Nov. 2014)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-An

LISA RINNA (actress, Sept. 2012)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-CR

JOAN RIVERS (comedian, May 2009)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-wQ

MELISSA RIVERS (TV personality)
Oct. 2015: https://wp.me/pzvIo-zq
May 2009: https://wp.me/pzvIo-wQ

RITA RUDNER (comedian)
April 2012: https://wp.me/pzvIo-Da

VINNY RUSSO (director, April 2009)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-wE

JEFFREY SANZEL (Theater Three artistic director)
Sept 2016: http://wp.me/pzvIo-bG
Feb. 2009: https://wp.me/pzvIo-xc

SCOTT SCHWARTZ (artistic director, May 2014)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-At

MICHAEL SGOUROS (Players Theater artistic director, April 2007)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-xL

SHERRI SHEPHERD (comedian, Nov. 2012)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-Ci

ALENA SMITH (playwright, June 2015)
http://wp.me/pzvIo-cB

RABBI SOL SOLOMON (Rabbi, Aug. 2010)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-yk

RONNIE SPECTOR (singer, March 2018)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-vQ

DALE GRIFFITHS STAMOS (playwright, March 2011)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-Ea

WANDA SYKES (comedian, Oct. 2013)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-BE

REBECCA TAICHMAN (director, Oct. 2017)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-w9

JONATHAN TOLINS (playwright, May 2016)
http://wp.me/pzvIo-bM

LILY TOMLIN (actress, March 2015)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-Ag

MORGAN VAUGHAN (director, Nov. 2014)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-zF

TRISTAN VAUGHAN (actor, Nov. 2014)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-zF

BEN VEREEN (actor, April 2014)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-AR

SELA WARD (actress, 2019)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-ys

JENNIFER WARNES (musician, Oct. 2012)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-CJ

DIONNE WARWICK (singer, Dec. 2013)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-BJ

ALI WENTWORTH (writer, Dec. 2018)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-wJ

VANESSA WILLIAMS (actress, April 2015)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-zO

ANN WILSON (musician, March 2013)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-Cn

INDEX – Feature Stories: Interviews & Profiles: https://wp.me/pzvIo-ak

INDEX: TV/Video/Radio

TV/VIDEO/RADIO INDEX: Teleplays

by David Lefkowitz

MUDDY

1983 (short comedy. Synopsis: A spoof of Paddy Chayefsky’s Marty, wherein (ugly) boy meets (homely) girl)

https://wp.me/pzvIo-Ha

REAL TO REEL

1983 (short comic radio play. Synopsis: Unscrupulous TV reporter covers a fire)

https://wp.me/pzvIo-HL

UP WITH THE JONESES

1985 (short screenplay. Synopsis: A perfect American family has its Walpurgistag)

https://wp.me/pzvIo-Id

PLAYS INDEX: Short/One-Acts

by David Lefkowitz

BLIND DATE
1986, revised 2008 (Dark Comedy. Synopsis: A man, a woman, a bad restaurant)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-i

DEATH OF A MANURE SALESMAN
1996 (Comedy. Synopsis  A family mourns, so attention must be paid)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-y

DOWN CAME THE SUN
2000 (Drama. Synopsis. A March-October romance in Key West)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-B

ELLA FITZGERALD MEETS ILA FOX IN SPANISH CLASS

1988. (Comedy. Women learn Spanish in a tongue-twisting way)

https://wp.me/pzvIo-Hp

HOWARD’S NEAR END
2010 (Drama. Synopsis: A writer in crisis)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-Em

HUCKLEBERRY FATE

1985 (Comedy. Synopsis: two boys on a raft)

https://wp.me/pzvIo-GL

KING SOLOMON THE WISE
1990 (Comedy. Synopsis: Sol’s got a decision to make)

https://wp.me/pzvIo-b

MALKIN SCENE

1983 (Drama. Synopsis: Two friends at a bar: a gentleman and a lout. But who’s who? Note: Scene written as an exercise)

https://wp.me/pzvIo-Hd

MUGGED

1984 (comedy skit. Tourist and vendor haggle over a Mexican mug)

https://wp.me/pzvIo-Hu

A PIECE OF FRUIT

2019 (comedy. Synopsis: Middle-aged white actor auditions for Willy Loman in a “woke” production that wants someone very different.

https://wp.me/pzvIo-HS

SEAWEED FOR THE GAMBLER
1995 (Solo Drama. Synopsis: What’s it worth to work in the U.S. Mint?)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-s

THE SKY IS CALLING
1994 (Drama. Synopsis: Unhappy traveler hindered by airline security)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-6

THE TRICKLE-DOWN LULLABY
1986 (Synopsis: Solo Dark Comedy with Music. Father worries about raising his baby)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-2a

UPHILL
2017 (Synopsis: Comedy. Sisyphus meets a sports reporter)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-76

WHY YOU SHOULD NEVER WATCH TV WITH AN ARTISTE

1984 (completed in 2019) (Synopsis: Two men disagree about almost everything)

https://wp.me/pzvIo-Ih

PLAYS INDEX-Short/One-Act: https://wp.me/pzvIo-hQ

INDEX – Poems – Humorous

3 TERROR-DACTYLS & A CLERIHEW

(four short and silly verses in dactyl form, 1986)

https://wp.me/pzvIo-HF

INDEX: Short Fiction

Short stories and humorous pieces by David Lefkowitz

THE CHINESE RESTAURANT
(sad-humorous short story, 1986)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-G2

EVERY SINGLE THING
(darkly comic short story, 1987)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-Fg

GREAT QUOTATIONS AND THEIR ORIGINS
(humorous mock homage to Barlett, 1986)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-FM

JOHN SMITH UNIVERSITY
(humorous spoof of a university curriculum devoted to the life of one unimportant man, 1984)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-H6

TOWARDS A VERY POOR THEATER
(humorous satire of avant-garde theater, 1985)
https://wp.me/pzvIo-Gw

SCREENPLAYS

BOOKWORM! (short horror-comedy)

(co-written with Al Hunter)

https://wp.me/pzvIo-FQ

 

EXTRA (short comedy)

(conceived by Zvi Arav, based on a short story by Ephraim Kishon)

https://wp.me/pzvIo-Gf

Click the links for David Lefkowitz’s oeuvre, which he hopes you’ll loeuvre.

FEATURE STORIES:
https://davelefkowitzwriting.wordpress.com/category/feature-stories/

INTERVIEWS & PROFILES
https://davelefkowitzwriting.wordpress.com/category/feature-stories/interviews-profiles/

PLAYS: Full Length:
https://davelefkowitzwriting.wordpress.com/category/full-length-plays/

PLAYS: One-Acts:
https://davelefkowitzwriting.wordpress.com/category/one-act-plays/

POEMS: Humorous:
https://davelefkowitzwriting.wordpress.com/category/poems-humorous/

SCREENPLAYS:
https://davelefkowitzwriting.wordpress.com/category/screenplays/

SONGS:
https://davelefkowitzwriting.wordpress.com/2018/05/06/songs-by-david-lefkowitz/

TABLE OF CONTENTS:
http://wp.me/pzvIo-ac

THEATER REVIEWS:
https://davelefkowitzwriting.wordpress.com/category/theater-reviews/

INDEX: Plays – Full-Length

by David Lefkowitz

 

(The One and Only) BASKET EDDIE (drama, 1985)

https://wp.me/pzvIo-Fs

 

KANDIDE (tragicomedy)

https://wp.me/pzvIo-F

 

THE TRIPLE WEDDING (farce)

https://wp.me/pzvIo-o

 

Index to Full-Length Plays: https://wp.me/pzvIo-FI

HUMOROUS POEMS

by David Lefkowitz

Sept. 2018: Colorado Limericks of the Damned
https://wp.me/pzvIo-hd

Jan. 2016: Lech Mipo
https://wp.me/pzvIo-8h

Jan. 2013: Rabbi Lacey
https://wp.me/pzvIo-8o

Jan. 1991: JoAnne Worley, Bea Arthur, and Me
https://wp.me/pzvIo-24

POETRY INDEX: https://wp.me/pzvIo-ts

TOILET PLUME

(song parody sung to the 1867 tune of “The Flying Trapeze” by lyricist George Leybourne & composer Alfred Lee.)

It flies through the air with the greatest of ease
A big toilet plume of your tainted feces
When you squeeze a poopie from deep in your tush
It reaches the world when you flush

The dinner you ate in your kitchen last night
Is hanging around in the room
Whoever inhales will be swallowing down
The doo-doo you left in your plume

It flies through the air like a great bird of prey
The morsels of stool that explode in your spray
So when you make doody just keep it well hid
And make sure you lower the lid.

The droplets of dookie get aeorosolized
And easily passed to the lungs
If you leave your seat up, then please be advised
that strangers are tasting your dungs

That fly through the air from an open latrine
Dispersing the microbes of COVID-19
So kindly remember when you’re making slop
To reach down and lower the top.

© 2020 David Lefkowitz

*******************************

NOTES & BACKSTORY:
[April 2020] This was written, April 3, 2020, to be performed as part of the “Greeley Crimes & Old Times” segment of my weekly radio show/podcast, Dave’s Gone By the following morning. In the segment, we often go “elsewhere” for odd stories in the news. I found one (in the New York Post, natch) reminding folks that some researchers advise closing the lids on toilets when you flush so that microscopic particles don’t go in the air.
The recommendation itself was not new—I’d heard it years earlier regarding the downside of hand dryers recycling air in public rest rooms—but this story came during the height of the Coronavirus pandemic (aka COVID-19), which was America’s latest bubonic/polio/swine flu nightmare (for those of you still alive and reading this 20 years from now).

A pervert from East Colorado
Was filled with a shameless bravado
He said, “I take all,
Whether tiny or tall.”
I said, “What goes with me?” He said, “Sodo.”

An old diabetic from Akron
was hungry and went on a snack run
While buying his breadsticks
He spied two well-fed chicks
And said, “You look sweeter than sacc’run!”

At a Japanese restaurant in Alamosa
A girl with anorexia nervosa
Was swallowing oodles
Of pukeable noodles
But choked to death on a gyoza

While traveling through Antonito
I met a strange fella named Vito
His extra-large foreskin
Kept adding on more skin
And looked like a giant burrito

The sweet little town of Arboles
Has 200 perverts—and no less
They sit in the shade
and drink lemonade
and shove dildos in their cornholes.

A handsome young man from Arriba
Was hung like a baby amoeba
Despite his small cock
The girls would still flock:
He told them he was Justin Bieba

A virginal child in Arvada
Woke up one fine day with stigmata
She bled from her fists
Her tits and her wrists;
She looked like a squashed enchilada

A wizened old floozy from Aspen
Whose voice is all throaty and raspin’
Blames African guys
And their punishing size
For leaving her gaggin’ and gaspin’

A creepy eccentric named Walt
Once murdered a waitress in Ault
He sautéed her brains
And all her remains
In garlic, cilantro, and salt

A troubled young Jewess named Norah
Attended a shul in Aurora
She tied up the Rabbi
The Cantor and Gabbai
And sodomized them with a torah

An unlucky farmgirl from Avon
Was humming her favorite song, “Rave On”
She fell in a pit
Of animal shit
And that’s what the town built her grave on

There is a young woman in Baca
Who shits and then eats her own caca
What she can’t digest
She drools down her chest
Till excrement covers each knocka

There was a young man from Basalt
Who kept jars of pee in a vault
And when he’d feel tender
He’d whip out a blender
And drink all his piss in a malt

A gifted soul singer from Bayfield
Was beaten to death in a hayfield
His gasping and groans
His hollers and moans
Made me think of a young Curtis Mayfield

A brutal young rapist from Bedrock
Tried putting a girl in a headlock
She broke from his grip
And bit off the tip
He lived, but he now has a deadcock

A fat politician from Bennett
Was fucking his labrador when it
Jumped up with a shriek
And bit off his cheek
And made him the talk of the Senate

There was a young girl from Bent County
Who fucked a Canadian mountie
When they’d kiss and pet
He’d get her so wet
She needed to mop up with Bounty.

There’s a casket in a graveyard in Berthoud
And I asked two young men to unearth it
For inside that chest
Lay the girl I loved best
Wasn’t easy to fuck her, but worth it.

A bawdy old bitch from Bethune
Would rise from her mattress at noon
“My husband,” she’d grin,
“is ugly as sin.
Thank goodness, he’s hung like a coon.”

A randy young Negro from Black Hawk
Would shock all the girls with his smack talk
They thought him deranged
but their attitude changed
When he filled them all up with his black-cawk

I had an ex-girlfriend in Blanca
Who’d bathe in a tub full of Sanka
When she would emerge
I’d get a strong urge
To bend her ass over and spanca

A husky young man from Bonanza
Has muscles just like Tony Danza
But half of his face
Is being replaced
`Cause he’s got malignant skin canza

There was a young lady from Bond
of whom all the bachelors were fond
For when she would flirt
She’d pull up her skirt
and prove she was truly a blonde

There was a young lady from Boone
Who kept Cheerios in her poon
When she wasn’t fucking
She’d spend her time plucking
The cereal out with a spoon

A very stern father from Boulder
Was teaching his daughter and told her
If you pick your nose
I’ll cut off your toes
And sever your arm at the shoulder.

One thing I would never have reckoned is
How weird is that geezer in Breckenridge
He hides his wife’s hair
In an old Frigidaire
And keeps both her legs in a second fridge

A pedophile vicar from Brighton
Found altar boys very excitin’
It felt so intense
When they’d swing their incense
The rim of his asshole would tighten

A tender young lady from Brush
Would turn all the men into mush
They’d start in one hole
But then lose control
And slide halfway into her tush

For raping a girl and her sista
A pedophile from Buena Vista
Was thrown into Rikers
With big, hairy bikers
And now he takes dicks up his keesta

The orchestra in Castle Rock
Plays naked, but please, do not mock
The drummer is cute
And the guy on the flute
plays first xylophone with his cock

Don’t pity that pervy millennial
Who’s now doing time in Centennial
`Cause he stuck his noodle
Into his pet poodle
And sodomized his cocker spenniel

A frustrated fellow from Center
Whose girlfriend would not let him enter
One day with a grin
Just bashed her face in
And laughed at her just to torment `er

How sad was that man from Cheraw
Whose left hand was merely a claw
His only girlfriend
Met a terrible end;
He hiccuped unhooking her bra

Each evening the women of Climax
Who suffer from horribly dry cracks
Will all share a tube
of vaginal lube
and watch Mamma Mia! on Imax

A hooker from Colorado Springs
Was paid to do acrobatic things
But she was so rough
The men screamed, “Enough!”
And most of them left her in slings

Oh how they respect Rabbi Shlomo
Who runs a big temple in Como
He has a nice life
Six kids and a wife
But everyone knows he’s a homo

A curious girl from Cortez
Suspected she might be a lez
She slept with one whore
Then twenty-five more
And now she’s got chronic herpez

One morning a fellow from Craig
Found scabies all over his leg
He spent all day long
Inspecting his dong
And checking his foreskin for smeg

How proper, how tender, how cute
Was that damsel from old Crested Butte
Who knew that beneath
Her gold hair and white teeth
Lay the heart of a sick prostitutte?

A pregnant young woman from Cripple Creek
Was attacked by a crow with a triple beak
He pecked at her chest
And gnawed at her breast
Till one of her tits sprang a nipple leak

A kind-hearted whore from Dacono
Would offer her Fridays pro bono
She’d not charge a nickel
To slap, tease, and tickle
Though fucking her ass was a no-no

Oh, how all the boys yearned to neck
With lovely Denise from De Becque
The losers brought candy
and roses and brandy
The winners just gave her a check

Beware the young women of Deckers
For they are a pack of home wreckers
Again and again
They steal married men
who are willingly led by their peckers.

A troubled young girl from Del Norte
Found foreplay was just not her forte
The boy she held dear
left her with a sneer
and a child that she had to aborte

How bittersweet `tis to remember
The girl that I dated in Denver
We met in the spring
And had quite a fling
Too bad she was dead by December

One evening while dancing the tango
With Dora, a whore from Durango
She shouted and cried
and clutched at her side
Then squatted and shat out a mango

In the Kiowa County of Eads
Lives a man who adores anal beads
The more he inserts
The harder it hurts
And he bleeds and he bleeds and he bleeds

A horny young pervert from Eagle
was busted for banging a beagle
His lawyer said, “Sure,
the act is impure,
but technically not quite illegal.”

A tender young schoolboy from Eaton
Was raped and then horribly beaten
His bruises are healing
Except that he’s dealing
With blood that he can’t stop excretin’

Said Jane to her Mackintosh, “Siri,
Tell me, what are the men like in Erie?”
Said Siri, “They’re gross,
Obese and morose
And the backs of their Hanes are all smeary.”

There was a young woman from Estes
Who’d never let men touch her brestes
If they’d even try
She’d look in their eye
And kick `em real hard in the testes

A crazy musician from Evans
Was singing a song to the heavens
He started off tender
But then grabbed his Fender
And cranked all his amps to elevens

A weary young soldier from Fleming
Was sick of the war’s Us and Them-ing
So rather than kill
He wrote out a will
and leapt from a cliff like a lemming

There was a young girl from Fort Lupton
Who looked like a twin of Kate Upton
Though she was a virgin
The men kept on urgin’
`Cause that bitch was up for corruptin’

There is a young girl in Fort Morgan
Nice bod, but a face like a gorgon
So what I advise
is aim for her thighs
`Cause you got no eyes in your organ

A chubby young lady in Frisco
Would dance every night at the disco
I kidnapped that ho
And rolled her in dough
I’m frying her slowly in Crisco

A tremulous virgin named Blanche
was kidnapped from old Highlands Ranch
No, she was not raped
In fact, she escaped
by massively shitting her panch

An evil white slaver named Holden
Once kidnapped a woman from Golden
He mailed her out quickly
But she was so sickly
She died in the box she was sold in

A pedophile priest from Grand Junction
Would prey on the youth sans compunction
Though it was a sin
He could not get it in
For he had erectile dysfunction

There is a young woman in Holly
Who’s deeply addicted to Molly
If you have a stash
She’ll give you her cash
And suck on your dick like a lolly

A black college student from Hooper
Was stopped on the road by a trooper
Who treated him rough
And put him in cuffs
and jammed a baton in his pooper

They arrested a fellow from Hotchkiss
`cause there was a girl he would watch piss
He thought he was flirting
that time she was squirting
and he pulled her down for a crotch kiss

The wonderful thing about Hoyt is
It’s just as perverse as Detroit is
There’s threesomes, and four
And orgies galore
The place is a cauldron of coitis

If you’re looking for somewhere fun to go
Then why not vacation in Hugo?
There’s golf and martinis
And girls in bikinis
And clubs where they won’t let a Jew go

How gaily the heart in me sings
For Ida of Idaho Springs
So gentle and pure
So sweet and demure;
I make her do terrible things.

A plucky young lady named Keeley
Would give up her cherry quite freely
But men that she chose
All quivered and froze
`cause her pussy smelled worse than East Greeley
The twat of a woman from Gunnison
Is tight, but a frightfully runny one.
Her hole is so juicy
you’ll drown in her puicy
So don’t go all up in her cunny, son.

A serial killer from Kersey
Whose victims begged vainly for mersey
Said, “Yes, you will suffer,
but it could be rougher;
at least you don’t live in New Jersey.”

A clever young lady from Kim
Would go every day to the gym
And then for an hour
She’d stand in the shower
To get the stench out of her quim

There was a young hooker from Lakewood
Who wasn’t so cute but could fake good
Why, every last wimp
no matter how limp
would watch her performance and make wood

There once was a small town named Lay
What else could I possibly say?

Three fine violinists from Littleton
Were having a bit too much fiddle fun
To help with these chores
they hired three whores
And viciously gang-raped the middle one

A plucky coal miner from Loveland
Became quite the pervert above land
He’d stuff lumps of coal
Into his asshole
And jerk himself off with his glove hand

I know a cute girl from Manassa
So smart that she got into Vasser
She needn’t do work
`Cause she knows how to jerk
And there isn’t a prof who won’t pass `er

A weightlifting wonder from Marble
Put 600 pounds on his barbell
When hoisting that mass
He ruptured his ass
He’s fine, but the cleanup was hor’ble.

A randy old hooker from Mead
Was very proficient indeed
For she could devour
Twelve clients an hour
And swallow a gallon of seed

A cancer researcher from Meeker
Is also the town’s best-known streaker
He keeps his vaccines
At home in his jeans
But guess where he carries his beaker?

The jovial mayor of Minturn
Would help the townspeople and, in turn,
they’d vote for the guy
and turn a blind eye
Whenever he’d rape a male intern.

A naughty young singer from Mosca
Tried out for the film role of Tosca
Her acting was tame
Her singing was lame
`Twas blowjobs that won her the Osca.

Oh how all the bachelors would shun
That portly old lady from Nunn
She’d sit on their laps
And take mighty craps
That weighed a proverbial ton

A giddy young pervert from Ouray
Loved watching gay porn on his Blu-ray
He’d sit on his thumb
And when actors would cum
He’d wiggle it `round and shout, “Hooray!”

A militant Negro from Parker
Said, “Man, I sure wish I was darker!”
That son of a bitch
Turned darker than pitch
With the help of a black magic marker

There is a young woman from Parlin
That all the men want to call darlin’
But when she gets close
They realize she’s gross:
her pussy smells like a dead marlin

An elegant lady from Peetz
Can do quite remarkable feats
Like strike a long match
On the lips of her snatch
And shoot gasoline from her teats

They cheered that young singer from Radium
Last week when she played the Palladium
She did a wild dance
Then whipped off her pants
and fucked everyone in the stadium

A half-blinded hooker from Rye
Let customers cum in her eye
And though it sounds funny
To make extra money
She’d go into sperm banks and cry

I know a young lady named Ida
Who works on a farm in Salida
When she gets done mowing
She’d gives me some blowing
And lets me go halfway insida

A plucky young lady from Severance
Inspires a great deal of reverence
If you have a dick
That’s enormous and thick
She’ll take it all in and she’ll never wince

A succulent lady from Silt
Was physically perfectly built
For even the strongest
The widest and longest
Could stick it in up to the hilt

A slutty young lady from Snyder
Put 31 dildos insider
“I coulda done more,”
Said the talented whore
“If only my cervix were wider.”

I once knew a girl in Superior
whose outlook could not have been drearier
I hooked her on meth
and now she’s near death
But damned if she isn’t much cheerier

There is a young lady in Swink
Whose pussy is perfectly pink
But if you get closer
You best hold your nose, sir,
`cause, boy, does it give off a stink

There is a young lady in Teller
As blind as a young Helen Keller
When she steps in poo
It stays on her shoe
Till half of the county can smell’er.

A lesbian lady from Timnath
Was bicycling home on a dim path
Another young dyke
Came by on a bike
So they gave each other a quim bath

A corpulent tranny from Trinidad
Was desperate to look like a skinny lad
She pushed all her fat
Through the folds of her twat
And gathered it up in a minipad

A cheerful young psycho named Dale
Dismembered a woman in Vail
He stifled a grin
As he tore off her skin
And stuffed all her guts in a pail

I met a young lady from Victor
As pretty, she was, as a picter
And though she was cute
Her dad was a brute
Who spat on her twat when he licter

A sexy young lady from Vona
Would give all the fellas a bona
For 25 bucks
She’d ride the old fucks
And let them bust in her vajona

A troubled young woman from Ward
was so unbelievably bored
when she birthed her daughter
she drowned her in water
and ate the umbilical cord

A girl down in old Woodland Park
Had a swim at the zoo after dark
So free and bucolic,
Her dolphin-filled frolic!
That is, till she met Mr. Shark

A born-again Christian from Wray
Would wake up each morning and pray,
“Lord, thanks for my life,
My children and wife.”
“Oh bullshit,” said God, “You’re gay!”

A naughty old woman from Yampa
Kept vaginal lube in her hamper
She had to confess
Her clothes were a mess
But she sure fucked the hell outta grampa

A crazy zookeeper from Yuma
Had sex with a three-year-old puma
When he was asked why
He started to cry
And blamed it all on his brain tuma

There was a young woman from the statutory town of Log Lake Village
She died.

THE END

©2018 David Lefkowitz

 

*********

NOTES & BACKSTORY:
[March 2020] I had lived all my life in New York, but when my wife got a professorial teaching gig in Northern Colorado in 2009, off we went. Colorado’s a pretty great place, and I often miss it. While still living there, and for no particular reason, a couple of limericks came into my head about towns in Colorado. Before I knew it, I kept adding more and more until (as of this writing in March 2020), I had nearly 100 and counting.

Being limericks, they’re as rude and bawdy as possible, and being mine, they’re sick and disgusting whenever possible. Since April 2018, I’ve been reciting one per week on my podcast, Dave’s Gone By, advising listeners to get their children out of the room, or, if necessary, kill them, before their little minds are warped by these per-verses.