YOU DON’T GET ME HIGH
©1980 David Lefkowitz
(sung to the melody of Neil Diamond and Alan & Marilyn Bergman’s “You Don’t Bring Me Flowers.” As with that song, the lyrics jockey between the man and woman singing)
W: You don’t get me high
M: You don’t get me stoned
We used to share a pipeful of our very own mixture from Taiwan
W: I remember when…
I met you in the hospital
You were going through withdrawals
I was stealing from the medical supplies
M: Then we fell in love and got wasted all the time
With Benny and Amy we shared our lives
W: But you don’t get me high anymore
W: You don’t bring me cocaine
M: You don’t bring me maryjane
W: The less we loved, the less we paid
M: The cheaper the shit, and the lower the grade
M: It’s all your fault, you stupid twat
My birthday gift had paraquat
I was wracked by convulsions and very nearly croaked.
W: You deserved it for bringing me garbage to smoke
M: So is this how we end up
W& M: Burned out and broke?
M: You don’t get me high anymore.
W: Well, I’ve called the cops on you,
And you’ll rot in jail for life
M: No more getting wasted
W: No more getting stoned
M & W: No more getting high anymore.
*
NOTES & BACKSTORY:
Some juvenilia from my prolific song-parody period (my 27th composition, to be exact, penned Feb. 22, 1980). Drugs were still playing a big thematic part in music and comedy back then—as every Dr. Demento episode of the time proved—so I thought it’d be fun to chart a wrecked relationship based on drug addiction rather than the original tune’s tale of people growing apart. I still get a chuckle from the paraquat couplet—even if we’ve long forgotten the late 1970s stoner panic when the US government started spraying Mexican weed with the toxic stuff.
The Collected Writings of... David Lefkowitz 